how did I forget?

What she wore: grey slacks with a pink pin stripe, white long-sleeve tee, pink cashmere cable-knit cardigan (that’s an alliteration), black leather boots.

Somehow in the snow/ice/rum/cookie dough haze I completely forgot that one of my husband’s friends married his mail-order bride this weekend. 
She’s not really a mail-order bride: they met on yahoo personals which is the thing to do these days, but it is as if he ordered up a russian servant or something. I guess to better describe it would be to say the misogynist married his willing submissive.  I could bitch about this for hours, so I’ll enumerate instead:
  1. He told us THEY had decided that HE would make all the decisions in the relationship–that doesn’t work on kids, I don’t know why it would work on wives.
  2. From the day they started dating, he’s been trying to make her into something she isn’t.  He’s a triathlete and from the beginning he’s been dragging her out on bike rides even though she doesn’t even like it.  He even bought her an eight-hundred dollar racing bike.  This is the kind of girl who doesn’t want to smudge her makeup.  If she’s going to work out, it’s going to be in a nice, air conditioned gym somewhere.
  3. He’s planned his entire career without even consulting her–including a one year un-accompanied tour in Korea and three years in Europe.  Even if I can’t make the decisions (snicker), I would at least like to weigh-in on things like that.
  4. He has openly encouraged her not to hang out with crazy girls who think they can tell their husbands what to do (he had a list of actual girls). 
  5. THEY mutually decided that she doesn’t need to pursue her bachelor’s degree–it’s expensive and, besides, "it’s not like she’s going to have a career or anything."

I tremble with anger when I hear stuff like this.  I don’t care what women do–they can run for congress or stay home and make organic baby food for their six kids–I just think women deserve a CHOICE.  It’s obvious that this girl thinks so lowly of herself that she doesn’t even think she deserves that. 


Is it any wonder I didn’t attend the festivities?



Addendum: pencils, check! cap erasers, check! sweat shirts in school colors, check!  State writing test tomorrow!  Here we come.


About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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11 Responses to how did I forget?

  1. Kelly says:

    Ugh. And in 2006 no less. Please tell me that she\’s from a culture that approves of such things so I don\’t think she\’s some random American idiot. Please?

  2. Dennis says:

    That sounds like totally the wrong guy to marry.  He isn\’t looking for a partner.  He is looking for a yes woman.  He sounds like an ass.  And what the hell was she thinking?  How in the world did she ever wake one day saying, "Oh yes!  That is what I want for the rest of my life."  I think she was drugged.
    BTW…. love the ensemble as usual.  You know, Ms. M, you are my girl.  I got your back at all times.

  3. Unknown says:

    Loved your comment!!  All I could think of was the Mocha Momma saying "you\’re so pretty".   Husbands gotta love em.  Hehehehe
    I am clueless as to Personals.  I didn\’t even know it was the "in" thing.  Not that life in general doesn\’t open ones eyes, but her being new to  military life will definitely keep em open.   He could of just saved some money and married himself!!

  4. Jaysey says:

    I\’d kill him.  I mean, I\’d kill him if I even knew him at all!  Ok…maybe not kill…I\’d definitely kill him if I actually (snicker) made the mistake of marrying him.  If I just knew him, I think I\’d beat him senseless with…with the handlebars from the $800 bike.  No, it doesn\’t make me angry at all to hear about people like that… 🙂

  5. Charlotte says:

    Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!  Takes all kinds to make a world.  Doesn\’t sound like a relationship to me..  I married my Yahoo Personals Man and it has been the most wonderful thing that ever happened to either of us… Let me tell you Mr. Guppie\’s favorite  quote is on the wall and says: "We all have the freedom to make choices, but we do not have the freedom of those choices."  I wish them well!!! Whew!!!
    hugs, lottiemae

  6. Jeanne-Marie says:

    *shakes head* Men! My husband tries to make all the decisions in our house too. It all his Mother\’s fauult. Lol Okay is father is partly to blame too.

  7. Alicia says:

    I feel badly for this woman…unless of course she married into this type of life because it is all she has known and figures he\’s the best she\’ll ever get.  It\’s disheartening to see a woman live like that and not have a choice about what she does.

  8. Carol says:

    Scary stuff!  And all the scarier because this sort of thing is going on everywhere.  Conservative churches tell women that we must OBEY our men and then tell us that we can\’t see psychiatrist.  Nooooo…only a church counselor will do.  When was Sharia adopted in this country?

  9. russ says:

    I think some women will do anything to be married. Probably sounds sexist and I don\’t mean for it too, but the guy would have eventually found someone willing to put up with his crap.

  10. Dennis says:

    @ your question in my blog as to why the computer made Fu#$in red – the reason is that you had the @ symbol where I have the # and the computer read that as an email address.  Thus it is noted in red.  Capice?
    Glad you couldn\’t resist coming to see me tonight.

  11. barnyardmama says:

    @ Ashlie–when you live in a crappy AF town there\’s usually not a lot of available singles.  They like to keep the planes away from civilization.  Personals are pretty common for those guys who want to try to meet someone in these types of places.
    @ Zwebby–I don\’t think you sound sexist–If women weren\’t so desparate to get married, I think they\’d get a better product (ie: husband) in the end.
    @ Carol–while I do think religion plays a part–I think that many use this as an excuse.  We need to learn to INTERPRET what we read and are told, so we can make decisions that are best for us–I feel certain that God wants us to be happy, otherwise, he wouldn\’t have made happy feel so good:)
    @ Jenn–no need to kill him–the wife will probably do it first.

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