Independent “dependent” part I

What she wore: high school t-shirt (where I taught, not where I went), blue jean capris, flip flops.  Very grubby, but it’s was raining and anything you put on looks like junk after about 30 sec.

I thought I could get this all covered in one blog, but now I’m not so sure.  Today, my husband sent me an e-mail saying all communication would cease until further notice.  Needless to say, I freaked out.  I get two 15 min. phone calls a week and about an e-mail a day and that keeps me going.  He’s due back in about thirty days and I just didn’t think I could go that long without communication.  I felt like crying.
An hour later he sent me an e-mail saying communication had been restored.  Still, a bit of a heart-attack moment there. 
So, I thought I’d blog about being a military spouse (or "dependent").   I think it will take more than one blog.   Today, I’ll cover how I’m surviving the deployment.  You know I’m all about a list, so here goes:
  1. Pedicures and tans: tanning is bad—it will give you cancer.  I will never tan again after this.  I could paint my own toes and save money.  But, these little pampering things make me feel good.    The relaxation is much needed when you spend the rest of your time worrying about dishes, laundry, work, pets, and your spouse being in another country.
  2. My job—if I had a less intense job I think that I would feel worse.  As it is, some days I come home and just collapse from exhaustion.  Less time for worry and stress.
  3. I sleep with a knife under my pillow.  Just in case.  Makes me feel safe.
  4. I keep a routine.  No one’s holding me to it, but the regularity helps keep me sane. 
  5. I exercise.  Makes those happy endorphins
  6. I run up a serious long-distance bill.  Calling old friends makes you feel like they’re close. 
  7. Oh yeah, and I BLOG!   

Survival is possible–you just have to focus on each day, and you’ll be OK.




I wanted to say thanks for all the kind words I recieved yesterday.  My little brother even dropped me a line.  It was really touching.

OH MY FREAKIN’ WORD.  I always like to see what people were searching for when they stumbled across my space.  Today’s hit?  Barnyard Sex.  I am freaking out–that is so weird.  I’ve never even blogged about sex–just sex cells!  Ick Ick Ick.


About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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36 Responses to Independent “dependent” part I

  1. Sara says:

    Very good list…..but you seriously sleep with a knife under your pillow?  Knowing me I would slide my hand under the pillow and probably bleed to death! ha!  I do keep a wooden bat I bought at an auction for a $1.  It has really pretty carvings on it, so if I ever have to use it I\’ll be pissed 😉
    And this mumbo jumbo you talk about that you wonder if you site is really any good or what\’s the point…..snap out of it sister!  You have a great space going here so don\’t think otherwise.  I\’m not really crazy with them having a voting system anyway, but the point is YOU WERE NOMINATED.  You rock girlfriend!  Now, if maybe one day I can have the little blue ribbon in my photoalbum I will feel like I have joined the ranks 😉 
    Take care! Oh, and the outfit you wore today—-oh so comfortable 😀  My choice anyday hands down!

  2. Sue says:

    I can\’t imgaine what it\’s like having a husband on active duty.  My nephew was in Iraq the first 1 1/2 years on the dreaded Hwy 10 between Baghdad and Fallujah, also termed Hwy of death.  We were on edge constantly.  Family notifed each other when we heard from him.  Care packages of everything from powerade powder to wipes, to bags and bags of candy for him and his buddies to hand out to the children when they saw them.  We are so proud of him and he back safe and sound now.  He doesn\’t talk about it much, but that\’s all right.  Keep busy and you can always vent, whine, cry, and complain here!  It\’s got to be difficult. 
    Sue : )

  3. Cheryl says:

    So when he comes home is he home for good?  Gee I sure hope so.

  4. Darcy says:

    Hey girl!
    First, I have to say that your blog is one of my favorite… you remind me a bit of me… just a girl doing her thing, living life and sharing it with herself and the world online… what\’s better than that?  My favorite part of mine is that I can go back and find a specific date (THAT came in VERY handy just recently), see what I was doing last year, how I felt, or just what silly things I came up with or did.  It\’s like a snapshot of your life, so even though you were the \’least popular\’ out of those four, you\’re one of the \’most popular\’ of mine!
    Second, I think that what you do to survive the time away are all great things!  Don\’t feel bad about having someone else paint your toenails… that\’s what they do… and it\’s great!
    And routine is a great thing too!  Makes it less like you\’re \’wandering\’ through the time, and more like you\’ve planned your time… makes the days go by faster I would think.
    Cool about your fantasy football team.  I watched the NFL draft today while I was at the car shop.  The one dude cried… that was shocking, but sweet at the same time.  I LOVE girl sports fans… I think that there aren\’t enough of us, and that we should stick together! I sucked in my hockey pool last night, but I think I might gain some ground tonight, cause a bunch of teams got eliminated from the playoffs and I didn\’t have anyone from those teams, so I still have my full crew!
    Wow… I"m feeling chatty today 🙂  Maybe this wordy comment will entertain you a bit… I"m sorry you had a heart attack moment today… that would have fallen the strongest of us I think.  But good that it\’s all resolved.  Only 26 more official days… Woohoo!
    Take care girl!

  5. Unknown says:

     wow…ur space  is so nice !!! come on!!…lol
    see ya

  6. Karen says:

    Thank God you won\’t have to go without communication.  My sister was in Iraq for a little over a year and her oldest daughter would, I think, have been devastated if she hadn\’t been able to talk to her mom.  My family is pretty close, so it was a long year. 
    I cannot imagine what it must be like, though, to have a husband overseas.  Any possibility of no communication would be quite a scare.
    God bless you, hang in there!!

  7. Nooner™ says:

    Wow, KM.  So glad the communication reduction scare was just a temporary one!  As a distant fan, I\’m looking forward to his safe return.  And to reading all about the return next month.  For the time being, I just enjoy your postings!

  8. TxnFyre says:

    I enjoy reading your blogs, and as my nephew is currently over in Iraq I can understand your panic.  Thank god for msn and yahoo the whole family gets to chat with him most days.  He is my baby, I still see him as tow headed toddler even though he is a 6\’6" marine. 

  9. Toni says:

    first–your blog is awesome–very entertaining, not at all boring. never never stop. i love the way you write. what did you start the blog for? probably for yourself.
    second–i know it must be hard having a husband that\’s deployed. mine is gone only 3-4 days a week and only 3 hours away–i think i too would be tanning myself to death. and only about 30 more days? bet you are stoked.
    third–barnyard sex. ew. yeah that\’s just gross. i get searches for "girls kissing" and "girls spitting" and "hot girls" geez. and then i wonder, what are these people thinking when they do finally get to my page?
    ah, anyway, hope you are having a great weekend. toni

  10. Unknown says:

    i guess i\’ll buy your explanation of oldskool even though it\’s like 3rd generation oldskool to me.
    First generation for me would have been about 10-11th grade: Run DmC, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5, Whodini2nd Generation or 12th grade would have been LL Cool J, Beastie Boys, Fat Boys, Too Short
    3rd generation  or university would have then included NWA, Eric B and Rahim, Young MC.
    i guess it\’s all pretty personal isn\’t it?
    it\’s good to be a gangsta!

  11. Antonella says:

    I can\’t even imagine how hard it is to have your hubby away for so long. I\’d cry too!! You go ahead and pamper yourself, you deserve it. (well, except, you probably shouldn\’t tan too much, maybe go for a massage instead??)
    By the way, about your previous blog, I love your space!! I don\’t think you should change it at all!

  12. LH says:

    Thanks for your input.  I appreciate the outlook.  I am sure it is very hard having your husband away.  It sounds like he will be home in a short time though.  Hopefully it will be for good.
    Think your search is bad, imagine going through your stats and finding mom+son+sex…..  I threw up a little in my mouth when I read that.  Pretty sad that the word Supermom plus the little sex position game link and me talking about my son\’s prom all triggered that!  Yikes!  Needless to say I deleted the sex position game link in my lists. 

  13. Jaysey says:

    Great start on the military spouse blog.  I\’m glad you decided to do it.  People are very weird…I\’ve gotten some really weird search hits, but I think Barnyard Sex takes the cake!

  14. Laura says:

    I can imagine how scarey the \’communication\’ notice would have been. So glad that is ok now. And, so glad he is on his way home soon…
    I SORT OF know how it is… being away from eachother. BMac and I had a long distance relationship for 3.5 YEARS, although neither one of us were risking our lives over seas… but I know the stress of being seperated and waiting for that e-mail or phone call. I also remember when we would get to see eachother about 2-3 times a year, I would get massive butterflies in my stomach… what a great feeling. It is good that you take care of yourself right now. Load up on the pampering while you can!

  15. Elizabeth says:

    Separation is a bitch, ain\’t it? He\’s gonna be home soon, darlin. *hugs*

  16. Sheryl-Ann says:

    I pamper myself and I don\’t even have a husband who is deployed, so you are even more deserving of pampering. My favorite is a seaweed wrap, although I pretty like everything that a spa offers (smile).  Please don\’t do the tanning thing – it is too dangerous.
    I\’m happy that full communication was restored before it was really taken away………that would be so hard and I am just glad that you don\’t have to go through that.  God bless the military!
    Uhhmmmm, barnyard sex????  That is very weird……and a tad bit scary too.
    Hope you are enjoying the day.

  17. Unknown says:

    Wow!!! I luv ur space!!!! Best I\’ve ever seen!!!!!! just chillin and checkin out ppl\’s spaces,and i jus saw urs and i was like…wow!!!!this is a good one…and im rite!!!!!well, im really srry ur hubbie is overseas, but i wudnt no anything about that…cuz im not married!!!!lol but barnyard sex….ewwww!!!!!!! thats disgusting and wrong!!!!! so…..hang in there and hope ur hubs comin….add more to ur space!!!! it kicks!!!! lol check out my space too!!!!!

  18. Nunya says:

    Oh the joys of deployment.  I have to admit…I do the pamper me stuff too.  I don\’t have a military spouse…..I am the military one. BUT my boyfriend is in another country … thats where he\’s from.  I stay busy and it helps.  I do tan however.  Makes me feel better.
    Thank goodness for the internet and all. 
    Hang in there the time will be over before you know it.

  19. Unknown says:

    Sorry…but the Barnyard Sex is hilarious!
    Right after we were married hubby had to go to S.C. for about 6 weeks and we lived in WA state at the time.  I was terrified being by myself for that long, in a bottom floor apt. no less.  He had been home for a day and had come back for lunch.  Completely startled me and I met him in the hallway with a butcher knife raised up in the air!  I was still in survivor mode.  We laughed after that for awhile, each time he would announce his presence as he opened the front door.

  20. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Hey KM……right outside Dallas in Arlington.
    Seaweed wrap: they put all this seaweedy stuff over your body and then wrap you up in something like foil for a while.  It gets all warm.  Then you get under a shower that sprays water at you in a nice rhythm.  Then you get out of there and you get a really nice massage.  You feel like heaven afterwards…..
    My friends tried it on their honeymoon and as soon as the guy was all wrapped up, he wanted to pee.  His wife was not impressed (hahahahahaha)!

  21. Nunya says:

    I\’ve had some sick google searchs hit my site too.  I do some volunteer work busting internet pervos that lure underaged kids….and I\’ve blogged about it.  Soooo I\’ve had some related sicko searches on that.
    Too bad you can\’t track who the search is coming from!
    Good nite!

  22. Sue says:

    Holy Sh*t, I just scrolled down and saw the addition regarding the search on Barnyard Sex.  That is so flippin\’ funny!!!  Great job this week!!  I would have voted for you a hundred times, but I don\’t know the trick to do that : (   I only vote once.   I\’m so glad you wrote a bit more about being a military spouse.  BTW: Thanks also for sending freckled sasha my way!  She is a sweetheart.  I\’m excited for her being featured next.  
    : )  Sue 

  23. Aunt says:

    just poppin in. i sure hope the communication lines remain open. that would be tough.

  24. Jenni says:

    ha ha ha!
    I get naught searches too- you can imagine with my site name being girl- dog- second chance….i get a lot of girl dog sex.  GROSS!

  25. Jenni says:

    Thank you so much for the nice comment you left on my blog! That makes me feel so great.  Keep up the good work, you have tons of fans even if you werent voted "the best" you still gained a lot of loyal readers and fans.

  26. Laura says:

    Katy- re: your comment…
    I was told I might be, but she didn\’t know when. So, maybe next week… Now I know what you mean about \’What to Wear\’ although I know I won\’t change much, maybe just edit some of the stuff I have on there. With that many people looking in on me… one can never be too cautious

  27. Nadine says:

    It is not easy being alone……….my x was a truck driver…..when he worked…..You do what you do to make time pass by until you can run across the parade ground, or across the tarmac, or thru the airport to hug the neck of your returning soldier. And then all is right in the world.
    Have a great day!

  28. K says:

    1) I find it amazing that you have kept some form of normalcy being a military wife.  I once dated a military man (from work since that is the nature of the industry that I am in) and just the idea and possibility of him being deployed made me sick.  You are a strong and amazing woman.
    2) Pampering… such a necessity!  In fact… it is a requirement according to the iVillage Mind-Body Challenge I posted today.  I love it.  We all need to do it more often.  Everything in moderation… cannot be that bad for us??!!
    3) Please keep blogging… I always always look forward to what you will be writting each day!  You are cherrished and loved … !
    Ciao bella

  29. K says:

    dammit… sorry forgot something
    4) I blocked all my trackbacks.. I suddenly got inundated with the wierdest trackbacks on topics that had absolutely NOTHING to do with my posting.  I deleted them and blocked them under blog settings.
    That\’s it… keep on bloggin\’ chicka!
    Ciao bella,

  30. Unknown says:

    sleeps with a knife?
    *mental note, don\’t slip into KM\’s room unnanounced….

  31. Unknown says:

    Well if you quit dammit I quit! So there.
    I love your blog you\’re one of the few I want to check on daily…although I was a slacker over the weekend, HIM and I took the GIRL to a small time jaycees circus…and went to a movie, Silent Hill…it was terrible now he gets to pic the next movie *sigh*…and we goofed off A LOT!
    I\’m ever so glad your communication was restored! Man what a heart breaker, just think only 30 more days to go!!! Smile and think of how many darn days you\’ve gotten through you TROOPER!
    Love and good thoughts!

  32. Unknown says:

    PS. OMG the happy thingys like in legally blonde; she couldn\’t have done the murder!! she works out!!!! HAHAHAHA I lub you.

  33. Unknown says: Yes I really said that to that old impatient guy!! HeHe…I was shocked myself!?!?! M

  34. Unknown says:

    Ugh…that has to be so hard on you, but you seem to be handling it very well!

  35. Alicia says:

    EWWWW…that is SO freakin\’ NASTY, Katy!!
    On another note…I am sorry you had to get freaked out…especially when he comes home in 30 days. 
    HUGS!!  🙂

  36. Latte Lady says:

    Nice Blog….I will be back.  I love to make list too!

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