Independent “dependent” Part II

What she wore: coral short sleeve tee; chunky necklace of what looks like quartz, but is probably some kind of plastic; chocolate brown cropped pants that look like what I called Jams when I was a kid; brown strappy Steve Madden sandals.

Here’s part II!
The term “officer’s wife” conjures up all kinds of images.  For me, I invision a tiny blonde woman who writes perfect thank-you notes, knows obscure table manner rules, hosts a dinner party for twelve without breaking a sweat, and bakes cookies for the “troops” in her spare time. 

For many women, this ideal is their reality.  Their existence is so wrapped up in their husband’s that they say things like, “we fly the F-16.”  Just for the record, that plane is a one-seater. 


These women do water aerobics in the summer, have meetings about how to better support their husbands, plan parties to celebrate every career milestone, volunteer, and later become near-perfect mothers. 


Would I like to be like these women?  Maybe, it seems like a peaceful existence.  What I do know for sure is that I’m not.  I don’t get any satisfaction from staying at home.  Let the house go to hell, I find my joy working.  Even in the summer, I can let the laundry slide and let the dishes pile up while I research world literature on the computer.  I want to be a supportive wife, but my cooking adventures usually make a huge mess that the Hub has to clean up ’cause I’m too disappointed to deal with it.


So, I’m not typical.  I’m messy, hate housework,  sleep too much, put my career up there with my husband’s, haven’t had a kid yet, and abandon my husband for a girl’s weekend at the drop of my hat.  Atypical by any standard.


Wouldn’t have it any other way.




PS: While typing this, I find myself humming, "There’s got to be more to life" Coincidence?  I think not.


About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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19 Responses to Independent “dependent” Part II

  1. Unknown says:

    I think we\’re always on @ the same time @ least 3times per week! I loved that song…lol old school rap rocks…or um…raps…yeah you get my drift!
    I always did like those movies w/ the perfect little wife and the hubby w/ the pressed uniform…and then I grews up! I have pots and pans from last night in my sink…I have a 17yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl and have never been married, hey I wanted kids what can I say? There just never was a guy that I didn\’t get bored to tears by that I would marry…or put up with?
    I\’m glad you like my space, we\’ll keep each other going…

  2. Nooner™ says:

    Three cheers for you, KM.
    Good for you that you:
    – put your career up there with your hub,
    – visit with your friends at the drop of the hat
    You are wholesome. You are alive. You will be a survivor in the event anything unforeseen happens.
    We all need friendships. I adore mine. My wife has been sick for over 20 years now, and I do whatever I can to "visit" my friendships just to stay sane .. to stay healthy .. to be as normal as can be given my circumstances (as infrequently as my getaways occur). You need to round out your life too. So, again, 3 Cheers to you for not hanging onto the tailwing of your F-16.

  3. Sue says:

    Funny, when I hear Doctor\’s Wife I envision Junior League.  That\’s why it was in our vows that I don\’t do Junior League, Balls, or any other of that stupid crap.  Of course, my doc\’s idea of a suit is his faded jean jacket that matches his faded jeans, so it works well.  LOL.  Live in upscale in hood and I know the neighbors want us out cause our home inside and out doesn\’t look like the magazines.  We do what we love.  The rest will wait.  (We\’re in trouble alot around here.  hehe)
    : )  Sue

  4. Jaysey says:

    Hee Hee Hee!  I love it–the atypical military wife–she\’s so much like me!  Who knew?  🙂  Plenty of pics…I believe this is what you really look like!  Now, on to my next question: Does this make hubby atypical, too?

  5. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Hey KM, I like the fact that you know who you are and don\’t feel the need to change to fit into the military wives\’ cake pan (smile). That is indeed admirable!  Be comfortable with who you and you will always be happy.
    I for one have gotten my share of stares when I prefer to watch sports instead of doing dumb, girly stuff but it doesn\’t bother me.  I am happy with who I am, and I do not let society\’s opinion of what I should be or what I should be doing influence me in the least! I guess that makes me an atypical island girl too (smile)!

  6. Jaysey says:

    He certainly doesn\’t sound like what one typically think of when they hear "m,ilitary"!  I like him, tho!  Garnishing PB & Js is unique! 🙂

  7. K says:

    A leave it to beaver kinda of life… just doesn\’t seem to fit for you or many of your readers!
    It is liberating to be able to say confidently… I know who I am and I embrace it.  Now … I must take leave, I have a perfect vanilla cake baking in the oven …. ehmmmm… yeah.. no!
    Ciao bella,

  8. Karen says:

    It\’s good to know who you are – much better than trying to be someone you aren\’t.  I have been there & done that before & I\’m definitely happier single and doing my own "ME" thing than with someone, trying to be perfect for "HIM".  It is especially nice if you find a HIM who likes YOU the way you are!!  Sounds like you\’ve got that … so who says you aren\’t the perfect military wife?
    Hope you have a great week!

  9. russ says:

    So when did we start describing blogging as "researching world literature"?
    I was enlisted for 8 years and the perfect little Officer\’s Wives always had a way of infuriating me. Not all of them are like that, but, as I have said before, sterotypes start for a reason!
    Great blog!

  10. Anna says:

    hahaha that was really funny how you described an "officer wife". not because it\’s so funny, but because it\’s very true. I can just picture it – the same way you do.
    i can totally relate to being messy, hating housework and sleeping too much:) i think it\’s because there are some women that actually know that there\’s more to life than being a "perfect" woman.
    oh well, what do i know….. 😛
    have a great day!

  11. Elizabeth says:

    Right on girlie.  You have such a way with words! 😉

  12. Unknown says:

    I don\’t fit into the mold very well of what\’s expected in a military wife.  That\’s perfectly fine with me.  Being my own person who has a comfort zone in doing her own thing…means much more to me!

  13. Toni says:

    my mother never could conform–she was also not your typical officer\’s wife–you have so many other things in your life going on–much more meaningful than hosting dinner parties! your husband should be very proud of his "officer\’s wife"…toni

  14. Alicia says:

    All I can think of as I read this is the song by Destiny\’s Child, "Independent Women"….  🙂

  15. Tracy says:

    Hi!  We sound a lot alike as far as independent and not the housewife type of woman.  I wrote today about how A is coming down here to do some work – well one of the guys he is bringing, is all bent out of shape at the thought of being away from his wife for a week or so, A and I are like geez what is the big deal, it is only a week, he will be making good money down here, and there are phones!!  Funny how someone gets all worked up about that when there are military spouses who are separated for a year or more, with limited phone calls. 
    Sorry to hear about your lawnmower – luckily I haven\’t had anything break down yet!  It can be hard and a lot of work taking care of a house/yard all by yourself.  But hey at least it\’s only us there in the house – so I figure well, if I don\’t mind those dishes sitting there, that\’s all that matters so I can put them off to clean another day, lol!!

  16. Unknown says:

    what he wore: favourite thin striped dress shirt from Banana (light blue and navy blue stripes), flat front grey wool pants, black kenneth coles with silver buckle.
    Have i been deleted from your list of spacers?  sheesh…you make it to the top of the heap and you just dump me? sheesh.

  17. Gina says:

    Love it! 
    The fifth paragraph down described how I am, perfectly. 
    With all that is going around you, you truly are an inspiration!

  18. Renee says:

    I know how it feels to have a loved one deployed…seeing my son come home from Iraq was one of the greatest days of my life…the wives you speak of had some great snacks for us while we waited!
    take care

  19. Cheryl says:

    It is good your broke the mold and when we have the big Bloggerville annual picnic and reunion…don\’t bring food!  None of us will complain…

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