What she wore: white pants with pin stripes in teal, hot pink, and bright green; teal short sleeve tee; white leather criss-cross slides with pink, teal and green rhinestones.  The shoes sounds kind of tacky, but everybody loved them.

WARNING:  THIS BLOG IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC.  Do not read if you are faint of heart, squeamish, or prone to nausea. 


A good friend came to visit these last two days.  Recently, whenever I’m around my girlfriends, the conversation will inevitably turn to babies. 


My friends are a particular sub-set of women: we are first-born, over-achievers who’s parents told us we could do anything.  No one mentioned having a family.  We were supposed to make good grades, get a good job, and make our mark on the world.  The result has been smart successful women who know as much about kids and childbearing as the average man.   


Suddenly, people are talking to us about babies.  Huh?  Weird Idea.  Nobody’s mentioned that before.  How does it work?  WHAT?


We’ve got no information.  We understand higher education, professional dress, and the importance of a good resume, but we failed to get any information at all on childbirth, breastfeeding and the like.  We skipped home ec to take physics and calculus, and now we’re in the dark.  Now that people are expecting us to have children of our own (like we haven’t done enough) we feel a distinct need to micro-manage this situation–we need facts and lot of them.  Only problem?  Child birth and it’s aftermath sound frightening. 


So, today I’m asking for a little reader participation from those of you with the info.  Currently I’m getting all the good stuff from Mr. K.;  he’s got two kids and he knows it all.  Frankly, I think it’s pathetic that’s I’m getting information on this stuff from a 27 year-old man, but I’ve got no room to be picky.   So here are the burning questions we all want to know.  You may want to stop reading if you’re squeamish, I’m not holding anything back.


  1. The mucus plug—sounds like a giant booger.  Is it green?  White?  What?   Who the hell thought calling it a mucus plug was a good idea?  Does it fall out on the floor in a giant glop, or is it more like an oozing slime ball that seeps out?
  2. Did you (or your wife) “poop” on the table while giving birth?  Did you see it?  Did it smell?  Was it distracting?  Does the baby get poop on it when it comes out?  This seems just plain wrong, but somebody’s got to tell us.
  3. How much weight did you gain?  Really?  Does everyone look freakishly puffy the  two weeks before they give birth?  You know, like they were stung by a bee?  Did the weight ever come off or are you still carrying it around like a noose?
  4. Did you let your significant other watch? (or did you watch)?  Does squeezing a kid out of your hoo-ha make you feel less sexy?  Do you feel permanently like a person ravaged by mother nature?  Is it possible to have a normal sex life after the person you love saw you stretched out like that?  Or are they just obligated to have sex with you since they’re the ones that did that to you in first place?  
  5. Why do people have kids?  They cost money, ruin your body, and keep you up with nights of endless worry.  Is it worth it?  People always complain about having kids, but rarely talk about the joys.  Is that an assumed thing, or is it hard to vocalize?  Or is it not that great?  Do tell—in detail.

 Finally:  Please do not say–"having kids changes everything"  I know that!  Tell me something I don’t know.  Help me out people—I’m hoping for some good comments on this one




About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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43 Responses to Baby-gate

  1. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Sorry KM, I can\’t help you in that regard.  I just stopped by to say hello (smile).  I don\’t have any kids and after reading today\’s entry, I have dug my heels in deeper about keeping the status quo.  I thought I had a little hope (you know thinking maybe, just maybe after I get the PhD), but now you have totally ruined it for me (smile)!  Good luck and let me know when it\’s safe to come back here (laugh).

  2. Darcy says:

    Holy Hannah girl!  That was astoundingly disgusting! (I\’m laughing!) I agree with Sherry… I can NOT help you with this because, while you don\’t have children and are wondering about this in the event that you do decide to do it, I have no children and I have no curiosity, morbid or otherwise to find out what goes on… No kids here thanks… but I have to say, I LOVE the description of the mucus plug and your non-fear of discussing it… I\’ll be back to read what everyone else has to say!
    Take care!

  3. Castles says:

    Greetings from Shanghai.

  4. Unknown says:

    Hmmmm.  If you want my answers it\’ll have to be in an e-mail.  No way am I posting this stuff!  hee-hee.  There\’s a reason this stuff isn\’t a known fact until you are actually pregnant!! 🙂

  5. K says:

    damn… heck if I know…!!!  now I\’m curious to see what people will say themselves!!  Can this even be put to words in a blog? 
    Well if the biological clock was a tking… it\’s not anymore!  Thank you!  Wow… talk about natural birth control… remind me to read this if I ever get bite by the motherly bug…. LOL….
    Kudos to you for asking these questions… I think I will be reading the answers with one eye closed… and a grossed out look on my face!
    Ciao bella,

  6. Dennis says:

    I am totally lauhging my butt off.  I love the way you go for the jugular in posing your questions.  I could give you the 4-1-1 on most of these but I am going to sit back and read what the others have to say.  This is too funny to stop now and be serious.

  7. Sara says:

    Since I have never actually had a conversation about child birth, well, with questions such as the ones you have inquired about—I thought they were very good questions to ask.  But when you mentioned the hoo-ha, I just couldn\’t help but laugh out loud a good bit 🙂

  8. Renee says:

    Ok I\’ll bite..I have 4 sons ages 20,18,12, and 8 so I am an expert….
    1.Mucus plug…sort of yellowish and yes… it\’s mucus…sort of as big as the end of your pinky… it keeps germs and stuff from entering through your cervix while you are pregnant…it was just there oneday when I wiped after peeing…kind of strange and surprising at first but it is exciting  knowing your baby is coming soon…I only really remember the first one…my water never ever broke on its own…the nurses broke it for me everytime (i have thick membranes) they ususally do it after they decide if they are going to keep you…(I got sent home 3 times with my first one) so they can hook a tiny electrode to your baby\’s scalp so they can moniter his heart more acuratly and you can take off the uncomfortable belt moniter they strap onto you in the beginning.
    2.Yes I pooped on the table during some hard pushing but the nurses are expecting it and it is common …they quickly remove it and clean you in a blink of an eye and no one cares because they already feel so sorry for you….no one points or laughs or grosses out…it doesn\’t always happen…don\’t eat anything after you feel the first pain…
    3. 1st pregnancy…i gained about 40 pounds and it stayed a while because I had a husband that spoiled me…2nd I gained about 60 pounds and I lost 20 the night I had the baby…he was big…third baby I gained 24 pounds and lost it immediately cause I tried harder and ate right …4th  baby I gained around 40 again and it was harder to loose weight but by then I was over thirty and less motivated but eventually went back to "normal" ….in other words if you eat right and exercise you can maintain a normal weight …if you "eat for two" you will be as big as two! Besides I am big boned…lol
    4.I had three different significant others and they all watched… first one (father of oldest two)took pictures…second one(father of my twelve year old) held my leg on one side , a nurse on the other side …so I didn\’t have to be strapped in styrups and the third man (fourth baby)my husband now stayed behind me supporting my back …the baby came so fast it was over in minutes anyway…we laughed and looked into each other\’s eyes…I choose not to watch any births through the help of mirrors because it distracted me…
    yes there is sex and passion after the baby…most guys are just happy to be able to get close to you again with no baby in the way…and after the birth you can\’t have sex for 6 weeks so they are preetty horny by then …haha
    put that baby in it\’s own bed…your husband will want you back …don\’t leave him out…
    yes your body may be ravaged if you don\’t use lots of lotion or rub vitamin e on places that get stretch marks …like belly, butt and boobs….some people are hardly affected at all while others really have bad marks…they do lighten after a few years …
    5. I have been asking myself this question for 20 years….all I can tell you is although they drive me insane most the time… I would fight like a caged tiger if somebody tried to hurt one of them…
    also I highly recommend the epidural…I did one without…there was a snow storm and no one was there to give me one… and it sucked and took longer because it hurt so bad I stiffened up and you need to really relax and let it flow…just remember your body is doing what your body was made to do and you will survive…
    I also highly recommend breast feeding… even if you just do it while you are on maternity leave…it has excellent benefits for your baby emotionally and health-wise…but if you choose not to don\’t feel guilty …your baby will survive.
    Hope this helps…

  9. ERIN says:

    I just had to  post my first comment.  I have one child who will be 12 in 12 days!
    1.  Mucus plug…don\’t even remeber it, so it couln\’t have been to bad, what was way worse was the sewing you up after the birth.
    2.  They say I pooped, I could have cared less I just wanted my baby!
    3.  I think I gained 35lbs, it\’s gone now.
    4.  Sex is still great, her dad is gone (what can I say)?
    5.  Why did I have her?  Every day is better because she in my life!!!!!!
    Thank you for your blog I am a first year teacher at a school with a diverse and challenging populaiton of students.

  10. Jaysey says:

    A friend of mine had a baby not too long ago–she had the problem with the poop–told us all about it and the other gory stuff.  I had to tell her to shut up.  Now, none of us wants to get pregnant! 

  11. Jaysey says:

    Oh…and how right on are you about your description of you and your friends–I\’m in that same boat–never had home ec, took physics etc. instead.  Don\’t know crap about mothering–I was trained to become smart, successful, etc. 

  12. Cheryl says:

    I never saw my mucus plug so I have no idea.  I can tell you that my water broke while I was havinga contraction and it shot out about 10 feet and slammed into the wall with a big band and a lot of goo.  It was pretty shocking and I thought it was the baby but they reassurred me the baby would not pop out like that. 
    Back when I had babies they always gave you an enema right off so you would not poop on them or the baby.  They also shaved all your pubic hair off and you looked like an 11 year old all over again.  Well down there anyway!
    My husband was a wimp and would not watch.  I diverced him after number 2.  (number 2 baby I mean)
    I was ina Catholic hospital and a poor nun came in while I was in late stage labor and tired to teach me how to meditate.  She learned some new words that evening and I never was visited by her again.
    My first baby was because I was drunk.  It was not intentional.  The second was because I was neurotic.  I thought that if I had anothr baby my husband would love me again.  He didn\’t but I am glad I had these kids.  I am also glad I quit after 2.
    My first one I gained very little weight.  My second i gained about 35 pounds and I don\’t think I ever lost it..

  13. Laura says:

    OHMYGAWD!!! Katy, you had me laughing out loud until tears were in my eyes. I was very interested to know the answers myself. This post will go on my list of "Reasons Why I Don\’t Want Kids"
    I was surprised to see so many people shy away from talking about it. It is all natural, people! I laughed at your poop question. I have heard that before from TV shows, and I laugh every time I tell someone who doesn\’t know about these things… Great post girl!

  14. Jaysey says:

    Aha, kindred spirit…I am blogerriffic–I copied/pasted from a word document! 😉

  15. PeaceHopeJoy says:

    Wow there is some good info here, albeit a little ummm….scary. 
    The way I look at it – having kids MUST be worth it in the long run because I can sit here and read all this stuff (plus the 100 books and articles I have read on the subject, AND the hundreds of Baby Story shows I have watched) and STILL want to have a baby.  Notice I said "A" baby.  We\’ll see how that goes before we decide on another.
    Thanks for the comment on my space….you\’re in my prayers!
    God bless!

  16. Karen says:

    I can\’t really give you much information about childbirth.  I had serious complications with my pregnancy and will probably never have another pregnancy as it would be too risky.  My daughter was born, by emergency C-section, 2 months early.  I had gestational diabetes and developed preeclampsia, which is basically pregnancy-induced hypertension (I was blown up like a rubber glove filled with air; I could not even hold a pen in my hand, my fingers were so swollen, my lungs were filling with fluids, and I was unable to walk).  My blood pressure was sky-high and the medication to help with that made Meaghan\’s heart rate dangerously low, which is why the emergency C-section. 
    Meaghan\’s father is not and was not in the picture.  My mom was in the room during the C-section, but neither of us could see anything as they had a little curtain up.  I had an epidural so I felt no pain, but I could still feel movement.  When the doctors tried to get hold of Meaghan, she squirmed away from them and it felt so very weird.  They finally got her, and when they held her up, she was the tiniest baby I\’d ever seen (other than in photos).
    A few months after Meaghan was born, my sister gave birth to her second child, and I was there for that delivery.  It looked very painful.  She was in labor for over 12 hours and the doctor looked like he was going to crawl inside her to get the baby out.  And there was a lot of screaming and crying; it was not an easy birth.  Later, my sister told me that when her first child was born, it was a pretty easy delivery.  Her water broke, she went to the hospital, and a couple of hours later, the baby was born without so much pain labor.  Oh, and my sister did not poop when she delivered either child; and about the mucus plug, I know nothing.
    Now, the child-rearing part… are children worth it?  I think so.  I work at a Community Mental Health facility, however, and we see so many kids coming through there who have been mistreated by their parents – and so many parents who are court-ordered to come for parenting classes; I don\’t think having kids is for everyone.  I love my daughter, she has totally enhanced my life & she is the reason I have returned to God.  She teaches me daily about love, and I just normally feel good when I am with my child.  There are always hard times & I know I\’m not the greatest mom on earth, but I cannot imagine my life without my daughter.  She is worth every expense (and yes they are expensive), every sleepless night.  It is amazing to be entrusted by God with a tiny person to bring up.  I wouldn\’t trade being Meaghan\’s mommy for anything!!
    Anywho, happy Friday.

  17. Karen says:

    Oh, and I gained 11 pounds during the 7 months I carried.  My sister gained maybe 15 during her first pregnancy and just a couple of pounds during her second.

  18. . says:

    THANK YOU for bringing this up. I am also one of those uneducated ones. Some of this stuff is just so WEIRD!

  19. Betsy says:

    Okay- so I\’m pretty much in the same position you are in regarding having kids.  I don\’t know much about it and I\’m terrified of being pregnant and giving birth.  You didn\’t do much to ease my fears…but you did give me a laugh on Friday morning!
    So this whole mucus thing is new to me!  Never even heard of that before.  And pooping- it makes sense…I guess you can\’t be afraid of a little poop if your about to change a million diapers!
    Who are these people who love being pregnant?  It seems really gross and scary to me!!!

  20. WINDOW LIVE says:

    1.  pinkish2.  no poop.  Did that at home3.  1st – 30 lbs, 2nd – 17 lbs, 3rd – 22 lbs.   Lost all the weight in about 8 weeks, major bloating last month. 4.  Husband watched them all.  He was mesmerized.  Thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world.  Your hoo ha doesn\’t look like itself during the process.  Watch a video.5.  Had kids for the same selfish reasons as all people.  No matter what they say.  Unconditional love, joy blah blah. But, I have devoted truly devoted to raising independant human beings and it has been the hardest, greatest joy of my life.  Watching them become individuals with their own mind is wonderful.  However, I do not reccomend it for those not willing to give up a huge chunk of their lives.  

  21. Tracy says:

    LOL at this entry!!!  Since I am kid-less I can\’t answer the questions but it\’s interesting reading the comment!  I don\’t know if I will ever have kids – it wasn\’t in the plan with A but now that that\’s over, well who knows what\’ll happen — but for some reason I have never been scared/grossed out/afraid of the whole pregnancy and giving birth thing.  Then again I also have not discussed all of these gory details, lol!  My sister has the 2 kids and they sleep in the bed every night – neither one has ever slept in their own room, let alone their own crib/bed – I just think that is crazy and I feel sorry for her husband, and in fact I wonder how #2 ever even came about, LOL!!  I say that to address the whole sex after pregnancy/birth thing – obviously it happens but I think a lot of women become so wrapped up in being a mom that they neglect the wife part.

  22. Tammi says:

    1.  I never saw it, so I don\’t know.  The Doctor pulled it out to get labor started.
    2.  I requested an enima, I don\’t think I pooped on the table because of that, but I was only pushing for an hour so that could\’ve been why too.
    3.  I\’ve only had one child, and I gained 60 pounds while pregnant.  I have battled my weight ever since.  Since he\’s 12 now, I don\’t think I can blame my weight on him though 🙂
    4.  Both my husband and my mom were in the room.  The support really helped me.  I refused to watch in a mirror though….eewww gross!  Sex got better for me…………go figure!!
    5.  My son is the most precious gift that God has ever given to me.  I love his hugs and kisses, his sense of humor, his undonditional love.  Without him life would be meaningless! 
    Having kids makes you\’re life very different, but it makes it better 🙂

  23. Unknown says:

    Read "Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth" by Jenny McCarthy. All the answers you\’ll want to know.

  24. Toni says:

    ooo right up my alley! i\’m completely opposite–i have no idea what it\’s like to NOT have kids–here\’s my version of "the answers":
    1. mucus plug–hardly noticable, but if it must be described, i would say it\’s like a tiny blip of a pinky white thing…like the day before you start your period or something.
    2.pooping–ew.this too grossed me out. i did not wish to know if i pooped or not, and no one told me if i did. i probably did. but the nurses took care of it and no one said a thing.
    3.weight-1st one:35 lbs., 2nd one: 55 lbs., and if you\’re active, most of it eventually comes off, although your boobs will sag–I REPEAT–WILL SAG–and your stomach might look like a road map and your belly button will be unrecognizable…forever.
    4.watching and sex–yes and yes. how many times will you get to see an actual human being that you helped create come out of a hoo-ha? even if it does put a damper on things…which in my case it didn\’t–but the late nights and exhaustion and just generally feeling blah didn\’t help our sex life. although we\’ll never do it like rabbits that just got out of prison again, it is getting back on track.
    5.why?–the most marvelous 2 things in my life were "oopses"…i just don\’t think a person can really "prepare" for kids…though, in my opinion, they\’re way easier to take care of than puppies, and i should know. i just tackle one day at a time, usually in survival mode. and it winds up being totally worth it.

  25. wendy says:

    ok, 1. with my first child, didn\’t notice plug because my water broke before I ever had the first pain. With 2nd child, plug was white with a little blood, kind of oozed out. More like sinus mucus than a booger. But clear.
    2. I did not poop either time. Thank goodness. I was worried about that.
    3.With both babies I gained about 30 lbs while pregnant. For me the excess weight came AFTER the babies were born, thanks to messed up hormones. However I know some women who have had 3 or 4 kids and you could never tell. So, you can\’t judge weight gain of other women.
    4. Yes, my husband watched both of my children being born and cried both times. I however did NOT want to see that.  I will say however with my second child, my pain medication wore off before the birth and giving birth without pain medicine was very empowering. I could actually feel the baby moving down and then with the last push I could feel her little body coming out. It was amazing! And this comes from a person who does not take pain well. My first child, I had to be flown to the hospital  because of premature birth and I was totally drugged when he was born. It was a horrible feeling and I felt horrible for a week afterward.
    5. I guess I mostly had my first kid because my husband really wanted one. I was only 20 at the time and wasn\’t really sure if I ever wanted kids, but once you feel the baby move inside of you for the first time, you can\’t wait to hold it and love it. The second time around, we just knew we were ready for another addition to our family and our son had been asking for a baby sister. Now, I can\’t remember what we ever did before we had kids. Must have been pretty boring.

  26. Alicia says:

    I think you have been reading my blog long enough to have heard PLENTY of the good stuff about having kids.  I personally wanted to have a kid because it is your legacy, your bloodline, being carried on so your name will carry on. 
    As for the questions above, I will answer what I can, but I had a C-section so I don\’t know much about some of the stuff you are curious about. 
    Mucas plug…don\’t know…didn\’t see it and the kid came out my abdomen.
    I have heard that it is very possible to poop during childbirth, but generally I don\’t thnk it happens too often b/c you can\’t eat while you are laboring.  No food =no poop.
    I started out at 120; weighed 170 when I went in to give birth.  Dropped down to 140 with the help of breastfeeding..gained about 15 lbs back over the first holiday season after Laine\’s birth.  The thing about the weight is # 1, you SHOULD exercise during the pregnancy.  I made the mistake of not doing so…if I have anohter I will exercise EVERY day, even if it\’s only walking.  The other thing about having a kid is your metabolism changes after the birth, so you have to midify your activity and eating after this.  It\’s a struggle, but with me, I have struggled most of my life.
    Rusty watched them pull Laine out, first a shoulder, then the head then everything else…he says it was the most amazing thing he has EVER witnessed.
    Think I covered everything there!  Now I\’m going to see what everyone else said!
    HUGS!!  🙂

  27. Elizabeth says:

    I can\’t even think properly right now, I\’m laughing too hard…. OMFG!!!

  28. Elizabeth says:

    Hoo-ha!!! LMFAO!!!
    I recently heard it referred to as a Va Jay Jay. LOLOLOLOLOL

  29. Nadine says:

     Where to begin???
     I have a comment for every question. This a subject that they do not teach in school and for a good reason….NO BODY WOULD HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY KNEW THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!
      Frankly I never heard of the mucus plug until my sister in law had her baby 6 months after I had my baby……I felt cheated, I didn\’t have one or something. And if I did have one nobody, said "oh look a mucus plug."
     The whole poop thing is right up my alley…..I had an enima! Both times! My mother was with me during my first delivery and I asked her what it was for. I wasn\’t having any trouble with that. "It is so you don\’t poop on the doctor." OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
     And then when I was present for the birth of my grandson, I was lucky enough to be at the business end of the ordeal. Yes, there is poop and no, the mother doesn\’t really notice it becuz she is sorta distracted….by the pain and pushing… didn\’t smell and the midwife quickly moved it out of the way…..too much info???
     I gained 52 pounds!! I went from a 2 to a 12 in 4 months!!! I have 150 miles of stretch marks and they do not go away. And if you tan them, they look like neon lights!! I have a friend that does that!!
     The sex thing is tricky, but they are men. They live to have sex!!! The first born, he waited outside the room. I had my mother with me. I was 18 and I wanted my mommy!! The Second born, I made him stay with me. And I squeezed the crap out of his hand…it turned colors!!!  
     My grandson\’s birth……..Let\’s just say I have seen more of my daughter than I care to see!! and I would rather not have to do again. The midwife said, "Look Grandma! You can see the head! Do you want to touch it?" THINK ABOUT THAT FOR MOMENT!!!!
      If I had it to do over again…….I would have dogs and cats!!
     Though………I would not have my grandson… I guess you have to take the bad with the good and deal with it.

  30. Aunt says:

    oh my. i\’m about to leave for vacation, and i shouldn\’t even be reading this. i would love to re read and comment but it will be old when i get back.
    a couple of quick things: childbirth is complex and moderately to very difficult, but here\’s a weird and hopefully comforting thing…when your body is in the middle of the process, it feels like this is normal, this is what is supposed to be happening. even tho… just want your prize.  IOW….GET THIS OVERWITH!
    second…i\’m not much of a complainer about my kids. i wish the four could have been 5 or 6 or….
    there are all kinds of reasons having kids is meaningful. continuing the cycle of life…yes corny but still meaningfyul…and the best is each child is a unique person. it\’s really something to see each unique person, come out of the chute, and grow up.  priceless.
    speaking of corny, i have a silly contest going (theoretically going) on my space. come on by. Ü

  31. Sue says:

    Boy, you know how to get a rise outta a few people!  LMAO! 
    Never saw the mucous plug.
    Had two C sections, Blondie was planned (no pain)
    Gained at least 50 pounds with each.
    Have lost the weight (but abs aren\’t quite the same after being sliced open two times)
    Now DQ is a different story. 
    She goes into labor and 30 minutes later she has a baby and she\’s sitting crossed legged in bed joking and chowing down. 
    She loses the weight right away.
    I was never told I could do anything, to go to college. etc.  I\’m oldest of seven (but I\’m getting really old).  We told to get married and pop out the kiddies. 
    I love my kids.  They are now my friends also.  They give me the greatest joy.  (wrote on that in first blog "the beginning").  If anything happens to Blondie, they will have to bury me with her, that\’s how strongly attached I am to her.  I don\’t think you can put it in words.  You have to experience it.  The moment you feel the first flutters or hold them for the first time, they steal a piece of your soul.
    Sorry, not much help!
    : ) Sue

  32. Unknown says:

    Can\’t help you out much here but I read a funny quote relating to your thoughts today…

    My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.
    We can\’t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. — Rita Rudner

  33. Jaysey says:

    (says she in the monotomous tone of the never-ending teacher): "Must teach summer school or not be paid–hence, not paying for apartment, not paying off student loans, not paying off credit cards…how I would LOVE to have the summer off!!!

  34. Unknown says:

    Hey girl… You got lots of great, albeit graphic advice here… way to rile up the blog world with graphic talk of \’down there\’ lol!

    Sorry this is a \’copied\’ entry, but I wanted to say the same thing to all my friends…

    Can you email me your email address?  I\’m starting a new blog, which is going to be funny, but I don\’t want my family to read it…so I need to make it by invite only… I\’m keeping the other one too, this new one is just for a thing I\’m doing right now… you\’ll get it when you read it… anyway, if you want the hookup, I just need your email. and I\’ll hook you up.

  35. Nooner™ says:

    A male perspective on being there to watch:
    Its a miraculous time. Your mind and senses are on the baby and the overall health of your partner. Thoughts of this being a "down there" thing never crossed my mind. My thoughts were about every inch of my partner\’s body from head to toe, and on your child you are welcoming to the world.

  36. Unknown says:

    ROFLMAO!  OMG, I\’m in love with you.  You have asked the questions that I am betting 95% of women are afraid to ask. 
    The only thing I have to add is that as a student nurse, I loved labor and delivery.  Like life, it\’s messy, smelly, and sometimes just plain disgusting.  But when that baby pops out, everyone is laughing and crying and celebrating life.  Who cares about some poop on the floor.
    If you\’re really lucky, the doctor who poked and prodded you and stuck her fingers up your twat like you were a trussed turkey, gets splashed with the mess.

  37. Hollie says:

    Well the mucus thing — well never saw it so dont really know nor did I feel it fall out.
    weight I gained 8 pounds my whole pregnancy and then lost 67 in the two months after I had Roo ( I do NOT reccomend getting a divorce when your child is 2 days old).
    watching–watching when I had Roo was my bestest girlfriend who had already had 6 kids and was the best person to have in the room. She comforted, she knw what was going on–I reccomend a great doula! A bud with experience!
    as for the Poo thing-no idea didint happen to me, so dont know.

  38. Kelly says:


    I\’m now 35 and I\’ve been a mother longer than I was ever a single person. That bundle of joy I first brought home is going to be 20 years old this month and I have to tell you this single piece of advice: the specifics of child birth are all shocking and new information, but have fun.

    Have fun with that and gaining weight and having to pee every 4 minutes and giggle at the Waddle.

    Have fun with choosing names and decorating the nursery and laugh (using the HA HA HA lamaze breathing) during delivery.

    Have fun when the baby grimaces to poop and shoves peas up his/her nose and says "mama" for the first time.

    Have fun when they grow, change, make bad choices after you warned them, make good choices you didn\’t think they were capable of and kiss you FOR NO GOOD REASON. Have fun.

    I love being a mother. None of them were planned. NONE. It\’s been a fun ride so far.

  39. Tammi says:

    Hi KM,
    What\’s an enema?  Here is the definition from
    The injection of liquid into the rectum through the anus for cleansing, for stimulating evacuation of the bowels, or for other therapeutic or diagnostic purposes.
    My suggestion to anyone about to give birth is to get one, then ther\’s less worry of pooping during delivery!!

  40. Nora says:

    A question I know a little about.
    I couldn\’t imagine having kids and it wasn\’t necessarily on my agenda.
    I guess God had other plans though.
    Now I wouldn\’t give them back for the world.
    You probably heard enough of specific answers to 1 and 2. 
    You just have to give up a bit of your sense of shame when pregnant, it seems someone is always looking at you down there.
    Breastfeeding for me was (is) great, I am lazy and don\’t want to make bottles.
    Weight was an issue for me before, and is still.  I actually had trouble gaining weight during pregnancy both times.  I found it to be ironic.
    Sex was an issue for a while, it takes a while to find the balance between mommy and wife.  If you really try it will work itself out.
    Being a parent can be difficult, anything worth does is.  The tradeoffs are worth it a million times over.  When their little arms are around you and yours around them, all is good in the world.

  41. Christine says:

    I am not going to answer in a question specific manner.  I will try to give you a little of my experience, though.
    I have 4 children. 2 were born vaginally, and 2 by caesarean section.  My first child, I gained 52 pounds.  I was puffy and bloated and vomited all "nine" months.  Some women never have "morning sickness."  I had all day sickness.  I had so much fluid weight gain, that I have stretch marks on the fronts of my ankles and the backs of my knees.  My second child I gained 35 pounds.  Again, I was sick most of the time.  When I was 8 months pregnant, I slipped on a toy my son had throw down the stairs and fell down the stairs while carrying my son and a basket of laundry.  I let go of the laundry and held tight to my son.  He was not hurt.  I severely sprained my ankle.  I had "natural" births for these two children.  This means I had NO medication at all for pain.  Both of these babies were over 10 pounds (10 lbs 5 oz and 10 lbs 14 oz respectively).  Babies who are that big change your body forever!  My bladder has not been the same since my first pregnancy.
    My husband was present at the first 2 births, I was unmarried at the time of my third child\’s birth so my best friend came, and my now husband was present at the birth of our son.  I don\’t what guys think of the after situation.  My current hubby never had a problem with my body pregnant or after giving birth.  Of course, I was 6 months pregnant with number 3 when I met him.  He is a special guy.
    Any other questions?  Feel free to ask.   🙂
    My third child, I gained 25 pounds.  She was a "Frank breech" in a transverse lie.   That means she was in a fanny first, sideways position.  We found this out too late to attempt to turn her (which I hear is a dleightful experience), so I had to have a c-section.  C-sections are made out to be "no big deal."  THIS IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!  I could not drive for 6 full weeks after either of my c-sections.  You also cannot carry anything over 10 pounds.  My babies were large, so they quickly exceeded the limit for what I was allowed to carry.
    My last baby I weighed less at delivery than when I got pregnant.  They tried to induce me for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  While the nurse was inserting my IV, she was watching my very active baby boy roll around.  He had been in proper position at my docs office, and when the midwife was getting ready to break my water, he was no longer in position.  Ultrasound showed he had gone "footling breech" or feet first.  By the time they performed the section a couple of hours later, he had turned almost completely around.  As he weighed in at 9 lbs 13 oz, all the medical staff was amazed he had managed to turn like that.

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