The Cat and the Stupid Cow

What she wore: yoga pants, blue t-shirt with three buddhas on it that says happiness, slip on tennis shoes in baby blue and pink.

This is going to be one of those blogs that requres reader participation, so pay close attention.


I haven’t been living in Arkansas very long and I’m a person who makes friends gradually.  I’m wary of new people and takes me a while to find those just-right friends. 


So far the best people I’ve met are the K’s.  I work with Mr. K, we go to the same church, and they were a huge help to me while the Hub was away.  The K’s are established Arkansans: their families are here and they grew up and went to school here.  As the new girl, this puts me in the position of trying to fit into a pre-made social scene. 


But they have this one friend, Tricia.


The K’s have known Tricia since college and they’ve known her husband even longer.  Her husband seems perfectly nice; I’m not so sure about Tricia.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with Tricia.  In fact, how can you have a problem with someone who doesns’t seem to know you exist? Tricia seems unaware of my existence despite the fact that we’ve met multiple times. 


The first time we met, she smiled, introductions were made, and we talked for a few minutes.  I can’t say that I remembered her name perfectly, but I understood her relationship to the K’s.  I also met about six other people that night.


The next time I met Tricia was at Sarah K’s first birthday party.  I walked up and began speaking with her and her huband who I had not met before.  I realized quickly that she didn’t remember me, so I re-introduced myslef, and reminded her that I work with Mr. K.


So now I’ve met her twice.  Then I see her at Mr. K’s softball game.  Her husband is also on the team.  I’m sitting there with the Hub when I see Tricia.  I flash her my biggest "Hi ya" smile and make direct eye contact.  She passes right by me without a glimmer of recognition.


So I’m relaying this curious series of events to one of my old college buddies, Cat.  I’m sort of questioning this.  To be truthful, I’m not really used to being forgotten or over-looked.  I’m one of those love her or hate her people–very little in between.


Cat weighed in with her opinion: "She’s probably a stupid cow who knows exactly who you are, and is ignoring you on purpose."  Do people do this?  And why would they?


But she’s got me thinking. . is Tricia an absent-minded mommie or a stupid cow?  All views are welcome on this one.




Fooling around with my colors–hope I didn’t confuse anyone!


About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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39 Responses to The Cat and the Stupid Cow

  1. CJ says:

    She might be totally focused on other issues and simply blanks anything else out….I may be speaking from experience here…lol.  I don\’t do it deliberately, I just have way too much going on inwardly to pay total attention to the things around me.  Does that make sense?  And, for medical reasons, my memory isn\’t all that it used to be.  If her friendship is something you\’d like to have, give her another chance.  If it doesn\’t concern you overly much, I wouldn\’t worry about her behaviour.

  2. barnyardmama says:

    I don\’t think I care one way or the other–I\’m just curious because I\’ve never seen this type of  behavior before–maybe it\’s a sign of my advanced age?

  3. qi says:

    I don\’t think she has done all these on purpose. Maybe every time she has got something on mind or maybe she is near-sighted. Anyway, If I were in the same situation, I will definitely feel annoyed as well, and as a quite out-spoken person, maybe one day I will go to her directly and vent all these out. Maybe you will get another new picture.

  4. WINDOW LIVE says:

    Stupid  Cow is my vote.  This is why most women get on my last nerve.  Men don\’t do that crap.  They are just jerks to each other.  I can\’t give you advice though, because with women like that I usually end up being extremely obnoxious and rude.  Then everyone thinks I am the bad one.  Good Luck.

  5. Gracia says:

    Being in a similar situation once, I can only deduce that she may be threatened by your existence and refuses to acknowledge you. Why?  I dont know.  Jealousy at the relationship you are forming with the K\’s perhaps.  Women can be crazy.
    Either that or she has a clearly pressing issue on her mind. But if that is the case, why only when you are around?  Or does she blatantly ignore everyone around her?
    Nah, she is a cow.  Threatened by you.
    But dont fret dear. You\’re fabulous and she\’ll come around. 

  6. Nadine says:

    At first glance….I thought this was about me!! Though I wasn\’t sure which I was….the cat or the cow??
     I vote for Stupid Cow!
    1. She is too stupid to even fake a smile.
    2. She is socially inept. What cows are social? Have you ever seen one frolickin\’ with friends? No they stand there, chewin\’ their cud.
    3. Has to be just down right stupid and intimidated by your ability to remember who she is.
    4. And finally, she is initmidated by your friendship with the K\’s.
     She is petty and I would not give her another thought. A friend of mine told me once when I had a co-worker that I hated to kill her with kindness……that works like a charm…..Kill her with Southern Charm Dawlin\’!

  7. Tracy says:

    Hmm I bet she is a stupid cow.  There is no way you can meet someone three times and not remember them!  And you said you actually talked to her a few minutes the first time – so it\’s not like you said Hi and then walked away.   Sounds like she isn\’t worth talking to anymore though, lol!!

  8. Becca says:

    Once maybe, twice, could be forgiven, but three times…you got it…
    I would wonder if she thinks the world revolves around her?

  9. Unknown says:

    She\’s a stupid cow.  There\’s a nurse in our community who not only took over a position from me 20 years ago, but each and every time she has met me she has given me the blank look and then introduced herself.
    After the 55th time I just started saying "Yeah Nancy.  We\’ve only met about  a hundred times."
    I finally got my revenge.  She was running for State Assembly and at the Del Mar race track finally remembered my name, number, and job history.  Just before she asked for money.  I told her not on a bet. 
    She lost.  neener neener neener!
    Petty yes.  But it felt good.

  10. Sandy says:

    Cow is my vote.  I agree with everyones cow comments. 
    No, Im not from Tx or Ok. But pretty close.  It was only about 101 on Friday, the title was some lyrics from a song.

  11. Gina says:

    Ok, one can be bad with names and even bad with remembering where one has met the other, but to completely forget someone you met several times = stupid cow.  In my opinion.

  12. Laura says:

    some people just aren\’t personable… doesn\’t mean anything about you, but she just may not be one to open up to people. I wouldn\’t put anymore effort into it though. Just let her be, and maybe she will come around, or maybe not!

  13. Jaysey says:

    First, yes, dear Ann is married…that\’s how she "caught" her husband.  Second, I\’m jumping to the cow side.  She\’s rude.  We southerners don\’t like that.

  14. Unknown says:

    My vote would be stupid cow….maybe because I am the type of person who remembers someone I meet, usually the first time, but definitely the second.  Maybe that is a teacher trait though…maybe she feels jealous or threatened by you for some reason though, and is purposely pretending she doesn\’t know you.  Sounds strange!  Even if she doesn\’t remember specifically who you are, she has no excuse for not at least recognizing you (or faking it when she realizes you know her!).  Thanks for your comments on my blog!

  15. Karla says:

    Cat may be a little more cynical than me, but she\’s usually right when it comes to people observations.

  16. Carol says:

    I\’m definitely leaning towards Stupid Cow on this, but I think the more accurate analogy may be more canine than bovine.  She saw you!  She knew who you were!  She ignored you!  Feeling threatened or insecure or whatever doesn\’t justify that.

  17. Cheryl says:

    My vote is a stupid cow.  You might have to do something real dramatic to get her attention and imbed yourself in her memory.

  18. Jaysey says:

    Re: Ann\’s husband–my sentiments exactly! 🙂

  19. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Stupid Cow is my vote, KM!  This same thing has happened to me before and I just chose to ignore the person after that. I think it\’s foolish because even if she doesn\’t want to have a LONG conversation with you, it will not take anything off her to just say, "Hello, how are you" and keep on moving.  Things like that kind of piss me off because I just think it is so unnecessary!
    Have a wonderful week!

  20. Aaron says:

    Thanks for your comment on my space.  I try to be as "sassy" as possible.  HAHA! No, i just make fun of a lot of dumb celebrities, and talk about TV shows I like and movies, ect.  It\’s a fun site, thanks for visiting.  Please keep coming I love regular visitors.Aaron.

  21. Antonella says:

    I vote STUPID COW!! Even if she didn\’t remember your name, she should have remembered your face. She\’s just being a *itch for whatever reason. I\’ve worked with lots of people like that and they do it to people on purpose. It\’s kind of like, "I\’m too important to remember you.."  I think it\’s a girl competition thing. For whatever reason maybe you\’re a threat to her?!?!? I would just ignore her!

  22. Unknown says:

    Ms. B1tch thinks that many people are fully aware of what they do, and Ms. B thinks that people 98% of the time have motivations, even if they pretend they don\’t! Ms. B1tch is around people enough to notice many things. Scrape the gunk off the shoe and leave behind you as you walk away.

  23. Dena Marie says:

    Hey, KM.
    Yeah, I guess I vote for "stupid cow" too… but it\’s hard to tell without a little more to go on. All in all though… she\’s missing out on a wonderful person!
    Re:your random trip thoughts… I loved those!… especially about gas stations being cultural equalizers. And the entry about the crocs… I actually just noticed that at the pool today!

  24. Toni says:

    arg. i am having the same problem with one of the mommies on my kids softball team.
      it is so aggrivating to be ignored. i would march right up to that tricia character and stop her in her tracks with witty conversation.
      what i plan to do with the mean mommie here is nothing. maybe a weak smile if she appears to be looking at me.
      your gal could very well just be absent minded. i\’m not paying attention to anything or anyone most of the time, so i know it could happen.
      you could try a good old fashioned cat fight and tell me how that goes over for you. ~toni

  25. barnyardmama says:

    Thanks for all the input guys!  I\’m not thinking cat-fight.  I\’m really thinking don\’t worry about it.  I just think her behavior is a tad weird–I\’m so obnoxious people don\’t tend to forget me in thirty seconds, but I\’m thinking it\’s her loss, not mine.

  26. Karen says:

    I must say, as I\’m struggling with some anxiety/depression, that I\’ve met a few people (and some on mulitiple occasions) whose names – and often faces, even – I forget; I am simply too preoccupied with my own crap to remember someone who isn\’t already important to me (I know that sounds rude… well, until I re-read it, I didn\’t realize just how rude it sounded… but it is sadly how I feel right now).  I just don\’t have time or energy for any more relationships right now.  Of course, I know everyone is not like me… so it\’s very possible that she\’s a stupid cow.  Heck, it\’s very possible at this point that I am too!!

  27. K says:

    Stupid COW or extremely self absorbed!  Now I know I might not remember names but a face – I hardly foget and I will for sure acknowledge someone I may have even met at least once.. let alone 3 times.  There could be a million reasons to her being the way she is… but for now I will stick to her being a stupid cow.  Do the K\’s have any thoughts on the situation?
    Ciao bella,

  28. Karla says:

    Haha. Your new description of me cracked me up. Plenty of people have commented on my collection of makeup but I don\’t think anyone has ever commented on my heels, well except maybe when you girls told me that I should always wear 4 inch heels.. But your collection of purses puts ME to shame. By the way I love that you added the definition of my favorite heel. 

  29. Unknown says:

    ok….. I\’m stumped on this one.  Just seeing your angle of "trying to fit into the pre-made social scene".   I\’ve been there way to many times.  It does seem very rude of her.  I\’ve felt as if someone didn\’t care for me before, but there was never blatant ignoring.
    I still see it here with the "native and non-military" vs. "non-native and military" in our town.  We encountered it with a few people at church, go figure, huh?  It is what it is… just rude!

  30. Unknown says:

    Well…it\’s making me giggle, I say you do it back…FOREVER! Her three times will cost her! I mean like for years to come…you do it….many many softball games…many BBQ\’s….many many…
    "Oh and you are?\’ (With a slight lift of the chin and lowered eye lids.)
    10 years…"Have we met?" (Imagine her shocked face.)
    20…"OH how do you do?" (Little splotches of red appear on her aging cheeks.)
    30…"So nice to meet you…" (She suddenly starts choking to death…and you give her the hiemlich…she remembers you forever…the next time you see her you\’ve forgotten her…and so on and so on…the end.)

  31. Unknown says:

    Hmmmmmmm very interesting.  Sounds to me like she\’s ignoring you on purpose too.  Why?  I dunno.  Who knows why stupid cows do the things they do?  I have a couple of those in my life too – it can be so frustrating.  You should just stop trying to figure it out though, because it will drive you craaaaaazy.  I learned the hard way.
    By the way…I moved my space.  The other one died.  I don\’t know what happened.  I\’m posting right now from the new address.  Just wanted to let you know….oh and could you update your link to me on your space too pleeeease?  Msn is so frustrating….
    God bless : )

  32. Elizabeth says:

    I don\’t know if I can handle this much change coming back from California!!!  :") 
    Maybe this gal\’s slow to warm… either that or she\’s a first rate bitch.
    Are your tootsies feeling better?  I think I gotta blister.

  33. Karla says:

    By the way, what is it with you and people whose first/last name start with a K? Even in Texas, one of your new close friends had to have a K name…

  34. Big Dog Mom says:

    Sounds like the woman is totally oblivious to the world around her.  If she\’s doing it on purpose then I would agree that it\’s more canine than bovine behavior.  If she seriously doesn\’t remember you – get the name of the meds she\’s on and pass that info along to us. 
    Either way, she\’s missing out on the wonderfulness that is you.  Her loss . . .
    P.S.  My favorite part of your blog is the pics of the shoes. 

  35. LH says:

    I\’m on board with the stupid cow thing.  Women are caty period.  Who knows what her issue is.  Sorry to be so cynical, but my experience with women is just that.  

  36. Kathleen says:

    I vote for stupid cow. People either love me or hate me.  My favorite trick is to be super friendly to the ones who hate me.  I know it drives them nuts. So in your shoes, I would continue to greet her with a big smile and say her name, so everyone can hear and see how friendly you are.  If she still ignores you, everyone will know what a stupid cow she really is! If she talks to you, you have put her between a rock and a hard place and she knows it. Some people have told me that I can be truly evil at times.  LOL

  37. Dennis says:

    KM I am so glad to finally be stopping by your space.  I have missed you.  How could anyone not just adore you when meeting you?  So obviously this person is unable to identify a quality person when she is introduced to one.
    I love the new layout and design of your space.  I think it is so much more attracitve an appealing.
    I thought that it was too funny when the person who commented about you knowing so many people whose names all had a K – was ALSO a person whose name has a K.

  38. Unknown says:

    i have a friend like this who is slightly misunderstoood and often thought of as an ass.   he always forgets meeting people…like no recognition.  I always get burned at him when he claims to not have met one of my pals before….but he\’s oblivious. 

  39. Aunt says:

    she could be thinking really really hard about her own hair and make up.
    this has happened to me before. i was actually shocked when the person started recognizing me as someone familiar. i think it took about a dozen times.

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