I’m not trying to piss people off with this entry, but somehow, I think I will. . .
As I cruised the blog world this weekend I noticed something that I’d seen before, but for some reason it got me this time. My dear friend, Karla, was quoting Sex in the City and she mentioned a line that’s like the single girls’ anthem: “If you are single, after graduation there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you … Hallmark doesn’t make a ‘congratulations, you didn’t marry the wrong guy’” card.
I’ll be the first to admit that we don’t celebrate the single person’s life choices enough, but I’m here to tell you—being married at a young age is no picnic either. Yes, I got a big party and lots of presents, but I also got weird looks and plenty of comments. My husband and I dated for over two years before we got engaged at the tender age of twenty-one. More than one person asked me, “Are you pregnant?” WHAT? My mother just straight-up told me I was too young to be getting married, but she’s not one to waste the biggest party-throwing excuse of her lifetime, so she gave me an awesome wedding.
I read it here in the blog world too; Girls proclaiming, “I just worry about girls getting married before they know who they are.” Keep in mind, I was twenty-three when I got married. Twenty-three. Not exactly a kid, college diploma in my hand, and three and a half years of commitment under my belt. Plenty of people get married with less than that, but that didn’t keep people from judging.
And my Hub is a catch: he’s smart, I think he’s cute, he makes me laugh, and he makes me feel safe. I feel like I’ve grown a lot in his company and his support is a big part of that. Additionally, his job was going to move him ten hours away, and I wasn’t moving across the country without a commitment. I actually think that makes me smart.
Here’s what I think: people are going to question your choices. Probably because they have nothing better to do. Also, because we love to project our own baggage on to others. Do married people get presents? Yes, because society dictates that. But people will also speculate as to whether or not you’re pregnant, whether or not you’re too young, and whether or not you’re marrying the right guy.
I say, screw ‘em—have a drink in your own damn honor—you’re the only one whose opinion matters anyway.