A girl named WHAT?

What She Wore:  Two tone green tank top, baggy jean capris, olive green flip flops.  For some reason that tank top always gets compliments.  I’ve gone all over the house trying to find those darn shoes to take a picture, and I can’t find them anywhere.  I’ll post the pic if I find them.

I  was walking through TJ Maxx, trying on shoes, which in clear violation of my self-imposed shoe shopping ban, and then I hear this woman talking,


I don’t think you should put those on, Vagina.


What?  Clearly I didn’t hear that right.  So, of course, I tilt my head so I can eavesdrop better.


Vagina, get over here.


Ok, now I know that this woman did not name her child Vagina.  What I’m wondering is, did she name her something close enough to vagina that you can’t tell the difference?  Would someone do that to their child?  Surely not—I just need to get my mind out of the gutter.




About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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40 Responses to A girl named WHAT?

  1. Karen says:

    Wow.  Poor kid!!!

  2. Sue says:

    I know you heard right!  You would not believe what people name their kids!  Dweeb has moms bringing their kids to the ER.  One girl named her daughter Placenta cause she thought it sounded pretty.  Another mom had twin boys, Lemonjello and Orangjello.  and on and on and on….   It\’s very scary out there!
    I want to see a picture of your shoe closet.  Do you have a separate home for them?  Just curious.
    : )Sue

  3. Elizabeth says:

    At least she wasn\’t calling out "Allota Fagina". *cough*

  4. Sue says:

    No polka dots… sorry.  Those are studs or something Blondie said.  She got it at Nordstroms Junior dept for $30.  *wink*

  5. Jo says:

    LMAO! Kids are creeeeeewwwwwwwlllll as it is, they don\’t need any help in that department! The poor kid!giggle, giggle!

  6. Tracy says:

    Haha that is too funny, why do parents insist on naming their kids odd names!! 

  7. Betsy says:

    A co-worker tells the story of the women who gave birth in the hospital room next door to hers.  She named her baby (or maybe she wanted to name it but the nurses talked her out of it, I can\’t remember exactly) Shithead, pronounced Sha-theed, of course.
    Maybe it is just all the baby makin\’ business that has you thinking you heard Vagina???

  8. . says:

    Oh! What Sue wrote just KILLED me! What are these people THINKING??!??!??
    A friend wants to name her child Eden if it is a girl. As in the garden of eden, eden. I thought that was wrong but I guess it is a MILLION times better than vagina. So if she has another daughter will the second be clitoris?

  9. Kathryn says:

    First, did you get out paints pen or whatever yet? *smiling*
    next, this post made me laugh! lawd!!!!!
    so did that one photo above ….

  10. Unknown says:

    The poor teachers that will get that child in class….I\’m imagining….
    "Vagina move!"
    "Vagina you\’re not working!"
    "Kids stop teasing Vagina!!!"
    poor thing…lol!
    happy humperdinkle day chicka!

  11. Nadine says:

     Surely not!! Can you imagine the jokes and shame that child would suffer if that were indeed her name???????? and at school would you really call her that in front of the class???
     NO way!!
    You should have stepped over and said, "I could help but over hear, I am pregnant and was thinking over babynames and wondered what you are calling your child?" and get it straight from her…..hopefully a bad dialect of Regina or Petina!

  12. Unknown says:

    O……..M…….G surely NOT!!!  There are a lot of crazy people out there, though. 
    Have a good day!
    God bless : )

  13. David says:

    Hi KM!

    Thanks for stopping by last night! I apologize for not coming back to tell you sooner, but I wanted to spend some time considering your comments regarding Amy, before I responded… 🙂 See, your opinion and thoughts really ARE considered!!!

    Oh, about being "on to the new one" (woman)…we\’ve been dating off and on for five and a half months…it\’s not really "the new one" anymore. Although I guess it\’s probably just about over, because it seems that I\’m the only one who\’s been putting any effort into it, and, that\’s not what I\’m about. I\’m happy to put 100% effort into something, if my partner is willing to put effort into it. But she (Pam) is just kinda doin\’ her own thing. There\’s nothing wrong with that, and she\’s got her own issues to overcome (fear of relationships, as I\’ve discussed on past posts on my space). I thought about it, and decided, as several people have said, that it\’s not my responsibility to fix her, and that I don\’t have to make a martyr out of myself waiting for her to get around for her to get over her fears. So, well, that\’s over, I think. <shrug>

    Okay, we were talking about Amy (for those reading this that don\’t know the backstory…VISIT MY SPACE! <LOL> j/k…Amy and I stopped seeing each other a year and a half ago)…

    I definately DO believe in accidents…but I don\’t think that her inclusion on my distribution list was probably an accident…I\’m sure of it. I\’m not even pretending, I know, she\’s important to me. Truth is, she\’s been the single-most important influence on my life, maybe ever. Yes, I am sure I wanted to connect with her.

    That she contacted me back…that\’s the troubling part. I have no idea what she wants. She was never one prone to emotional discussion, or deep conversation. Some of the public posts I\’ve traded online with people I don\’t even know are about as deep as any of the "real" conversations she and I ever had. Although, her last email to me, after this "accidental correspondence" was as emotional and as bearing of her soul as she\’s ever been. It was written in such a way, though, that I couldn\’t really figure out how she felt about me/her/us NOW, but talked about what happened between us a year and a half ago. When I wrote back to her after she first responded, I told her that I owed her an apology for all the things I had felt and said when we split up, how I thought she had never really cared, how she had been cold and ignorant toward me. She was, don\’t get me wrong, but, it took me awhile to see that when I had felt that she never really cared, I was just wrong.

    She wrote back after that, and told me how she was sorry too, that she hadn\’t been in a good place, and that she had treated me poorly then too. She actually apologized, which is like, jaw-dropping to me. She was never one to do anything like that before.

    Your post to me said "I have no idea which one of these situations this is, but I do know this: I you want another shot with this girl, there\’s no time like the present. You\’re not getting any younger, you\’ve already lost her, all you have to do is give it a shot. The real question is this: do you really want that? Or do you prefer to keep the relationship in the "one that got away" status because that is a much easier place to be. It is the hardest thing in the world to try to put yourself out on a limb and try again."

    I already know the answer to this. Yes, that\’s what I really want. I\’m fully prepared and able to accept it again, and to deal with it if it didn\’t work out. When our relationship ended the last time, I felt it came out of nowhere, and hit me square in the face. I felt I was "cut off" without reason, expectation, etc. In reality, while we didn\’t talk about it, the signs were there (and I take full responsiblity for my own failings at that point, because the worse things got, the harder I tried…I was trying WAY to hard…that\’s what drove her away from me…).

    Anyway…I know I\’d like to see us work things out, and I\’d like another chance, if she ever gave it to me. I don\’t know if she would or not, though. At the same time, I don\’t want to wait for that chance, if there isn\’t one. But twice in the past 16 months, she\’s come out of the dark, so to speak, and re-connected. Last April (2005), we even got together and went out to dinner and dancing together. That was tough on me, because I hadn\’t grown enough by then…it had only been a few months…and my dad had been diagnosed terminally ill since we split, and he died in May 2005, just a month later).

    She has a habit of re-inserting herself into my life, but I don\’t really know why, if she\’s not interested in a potential reconciliation. Does that make sense?

    I know what I want. And I know I can\’t approach her directly about it, because that would be coming on to strong…come across as "to needy", which is what I\’ve been in the past (as our relationship determiorated, that just got worse, and drove it even more). I\’m not nearly as much that way now. The 18 months I\’ve been through have really changed me in a lot of ways. Some of that is still there, sure, but compared to the things I\’ve learned, it\’s a lot less now.

    But I do know what I want. I want Amy back in my life…and as more than just an ex- or a friend.

    -David //BootJockey

  14. Sandy says:

    When I was younger, I knew a girl whose name was actually Thumper.  I meet a man maned Jack Hoff.  The lady that I work with knows a man named Richard Head.  You know which name is short for Richard ofcourse.  Some people just do not think when they mname their kids.

  15. Sheryl-Ann says:

    KM, that was toooooooooooooooooo funny!  You are crazy (laugh).  Maybe it was Virginia and she said it wrong.  I am still laughing……..have a cool day.

  16. Jaysey says:

    That poor child…

  17. tassietoo says:

    YIKES!!!  I can\’t even imagine…

  18. Laura says:

    maybe her name was Virginia, but she had a really heavy Southern accent… let\’s hope…

  19. Gina says:

    Yea I\’m hoping Freckled Sasha is right!  Maybe it was Regina?    Imagine her report card "Vagina is not working up to potential", "Vagina exceeds expectations".  Let\’s hope that she changes her name ASAP.  Or finds a nickname.

  20. Mrsbrown2k1 says:

    That poor girl. I hope it was just a nick name.  My husband works in pediactrics.  The names he hears…very sad.  We how ever freaked our friends and family out when I was pregnant.  We knew we were having a boy and having the hardest time coming up with names. Our last name is Brown so that had to play a role as well.  So as a joke we started telling everyone we were naming him HASH…Brown & his nick name was going to be tatertot!!!  It always got a good laugh & you should have seen the peoples faces who didn\’t know it was a joke.  It was priceless.  Since he\’s no  longer with us we still refer to him as our little tatertot…that kind of stuck.  
    When I was in the ER a few month ago, twin boys in the next room were named Kingdom & Chapel.
    Have a great day!  Tam in Texas

  21. Stacy says:

    I too have heard the story about ShiThead.  I would almost believe anything these days with names.  When I read the paper and the Birth Announcements and see some of the names these kids have to live with I just cringe.  On the other hand they will never be forgotten, then again that might not be such a good thing either.

  22. Big Dog Mom says:

    OMG . . . to quote Dr. Phil, "What Were You Thinkin\’?"  Before you decide on a name for a child, you should open the back door and hollwer the name as loud as you can.  That will give you some perspective.  The poor little girl . . . she\’ll never live through elementary school.  Or she\’ll be the toughest little girl on the block.

  23. Sarah says:

    That is the craziest thing I have ever heard!!!! What is the matter with people?

  24. IegnA says:

    Oh, that is just wrong!  Maybe she was mispronouncing Virginia.  Who knows?  My husbands friend was telling me about a girl he met whose name was pronouced Sha-thead, but it was spelled "Shi" instead of "Sha" I\’m thinking parents are very cruel.
    🙂 Angei

  25. Unknown says:

    In Britain, they pronounce the name Regina as "Ruh-jy-na" (I\’m attempting to spell this phonetically), whereas we pronounce it "Ruh-jee-na."  It could be a family name or something that the poor girl got stuck with.  Either way, it\’s unfortunate…

  26. Unknown says:

    For the love of god! It would not suprise me if she did name her child Vagina, people do some stupid things. And if you did hear correctly we can only pray that her last name is not Itchy!

  27. Nooner™ says:

    I\’m going to go call my Mom up right away and thank her right now for naming me Nooner … and not Vagina.

  28. Unknown says:

    Hehe she is mini-Mercy! HIM is always saying things like, "I wonder where she got that from?" All the while staring @ me with wonder & shaking his head.
    Our baby pictures are identical…but now she\’s changing, blue/gray/yellow eyes…mine are brown….sigh…I want a kid w/ brown eyes! Isn\’t that silly it does cross my mind every so often. My whole side of my mother\’s family has liter eyes, my sisters and my dad and mom have brown…my kids got liter so far.
    hugs girlie!!!!

  29. KEL says:

    wow…I guess the parent didn\’t want her child to grow up and get confused with anyone else…maybe she wants to make sure she doesn\’t lose her!  hahahahahahahahahahahaha
    Definately the laugh I needed for the day!~K

  30. melissa says:

    ive known a Dusty Boner, Richard Little,  and a Rusty Rotendyck<—-im sure thats spelled wrong…but that was his name…
    this post and these comments are cracking me up…omigosh…

  31. K says:

    This so reminds me of the Sienfield episode!!!  Way too freakin funny… you sure she didn\’t say Regina???
    But with the names people pick nowadays for kids… you could very well have heard correctly… and if so… that ppppooooorrrr ppppooooorrr child!  I\’d sue!! LOL… kidding but not really…
    Ciao bella,

  32. Sue says:

    Who knew the word \’vagina\’ would bring so many friggin\’ comments?  LOL.  Need try Placenta next and see if it gets more reaction than vagina.

  33. Antonella says:

    I wouldn\’t be surprized if her name was Vagina. I\’ve heard some pretty strange names before. Maybe the woman was mad that she got pregnant and took it out on the child?
    This will be the first time living on our own. Fortunately, I spend enough time with him, I know what things are going to annoy the hell out of me. There won\’t be any surprizes (unless he turns out to be a really good cook!)

  34. CJ says:

    OMGosh!  Hopefully you heard wrong!  Poor child!

  35. David says:

    Hey KM!
    I have news to report on the whole sha-bang with Amy…(nothing big, don\’t get wound up…)…I\’m pretty pooped, but I\’ll be back tomorrow to update ya\’…fair \’nuff?  🙂
    Thanks for coming by to visit!!!  Talk to you tomorrow!
    -David  //BootJockey

  36. Toni says:

    You know, I\’ve heard of a child named "Female" pronounced "fem-ah-lay"…because the woman thought that\’s what the hospital named her baby already. Still not as bad a Vagina. That\’s…child abuse. I hope it was just your mind in the gutter on that one. Speaking of nasty, I\’ve read up on your site again, and I\’ve found some real doozies. The whole toilet paper/pad present/poop droplet thing? Wow. That\’s good stuff. And Britney Spears–scary, but only because that\’s probably who I\’d pick too. The shoes you wore on July 14th–I want them. Desperately. Okay, and the pictures are great–I love black and white. The one with the puppy and the weird face is classic–go get it framed! Hope you are surviving this heat–get yourself a 20-inch-deep transportable plastic pool–ours is totally krossed out with cool tropical fish all over the sides. It\’s not inground but it does the trick. I\’ve even been know to hop in without the kids. Stay cool~Toni

  37. Alicia says:

    Maybe VIRGINIA?????

  38. siobhan says:

    Now I am dying to know what that poor girls name is for sure!!!!

  39. Wahzat says:

    Oh my word this is hilarious.
    I am just saying Hi!. You visit a few of the sites I visit so I decided to visit you as well.

  40. Unknown says:

    I had a soccer coach in high school who\’s name was Richard Morehead…but he went by Dick!! Yeah, you can imagine how that went over with a bunch of 15 & 16 year olds!!!!

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