So many thoughts. . .so little time

What She Wore: White t-shirt that reads “New Orleans, Rebuild, Renew;” jean capris, black leather thong sandals. I realize that they don’t look that great in the picture, but they go perfectly with my everyday purse!

 

I’d really like to write something interesting, or thought-provoking, or even something that would get me a funny google hit, but there’s a lot of randomness on my mind, and here it is:

 

And the Winner Is. . .Our tests are in!!! Mr. K called and told me that the state test results have been delivered to school.  Of course, the state will not have decided what’s passing and what isn’t, but I don’t care about that.  It’s raw data I want—have our kids improved?  Have they?  HAVE THEY???  I can’t wait.  The plan is to get up tomorrow and see if the principal will let me look/photocopy the results.  I’m on pins and needles.

 

***

 The Hub and I are doing battle with mosquitoes.  Last night we awoke at three, four, and five o’clock in the morning because mosquitoes were buzzing in our ears.  Bite me while I sleep, but please don’t buzz in my ear—that’s not playing fair.

 

***

 And finally, an old friend of mine e-mailed me to let me know that she has hired a nanny.  Here’s the part where I feel bad.  Currently, I have decided that if I have children, I will take one year off of work per child.  This is largely due to the fact that the Hub gets limited vacation, and we have no family within five hours.  I would hate to have a sick child and have to leave it with a complete stranger.  It will involve making some sacrifices, and I’m going to try to get some tutoring gigs, but by and large I’ll be going a year without income which is scary.  I may even—gasp—buy my child clothes from Walmart.  It’s not the right decision for everyone, but it’s the one I’ve decided upon. 

 

The thing is, most of my upwardly mobile, highly-educated buddies would never dream of putting their careers on hold for a year or two.  I feel sort of shameful as if I’ve somehow failed the gender.  But I know I’m making the right decision for me—I just wish I didn’t feel like such a sell out.

 

KM

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About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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31 Responses to So many thoughts. . .so little time

  1. Unknown says:

    Yuck to the mosquitos!  We have those plus sand gnats here.  Those little buggers are mean!!!  I think the year plan sounds great.  Whatever works for you and the hub, is all that is important.  Not dissing wal-mart at all…I do a lot of consignment shopping,  2 of the places always have a Gap, Old Navy, Ralph Lauren, etc. rack set up.  A great way to get inexpensive brands.  Good luck obtaining the test scores!
     
    ~Ashlie

  2. Tracy says:

    LOL about the mosquitos — that would drive me nuts!   I hope you get to see the test results today and they are great!  About the nanny — I am a fan of the fact that different things work for different people — I just can\’t stand it when one person judges another based on what works for them.   We had my stepson in daycare and he LOVED it and did great, but then again that was after he was 1 yr old, I can see how it\’d be hard that first year when they are so little and not interacting with the other kids. I don\’t think I could ever stay home 24/7 with a kid, I think I would go nuts, in a perfect world I would work 2-3 days a week.  But hey I am getting ahead of myself here, shouldn\’t I find a dad for my kid first, lol!!!!  That\’s awesome you are coming here — I will definitely email you so you can let me know where you will be!!

  3. WINDOW LIVE says:

    Actually taking a year off is very important.  

  4. Unknown says:

    Walmart? I get the mega-duds for the GIRL @ garage sales! She LOVES going to because she can pretty much have ANYTHING she wants in the toy area, although limited to one thing. It\’s like a treasure hunt, at times I wonder about myself…if I\’m just out for good deals OR into snooping in peoples stuff! You wouldn\’t believe some of the crap people have/try to sell. I get some good laughs. OH AND I get to see their back yard gardens for ideas!
     
    I\’m sending good test blog vibes for you Teach! I can\’t wait to hear either!!!!
     
    Love,
    Mercy

  5. Unknown says:

    One more darn thing:
     
    What can be more important than enjoying every day of the first year with your child? It is a very personal experience and I just DARE anyone to question you for your choice! Besides if you boobie feed like I did, it\’s usually the first year and pumping is a pain in the erm…pain in the…boob, yeah the boob!
     
    -M
     
    p.s. Give Mr K a shout out from me!!! lol

  6. KEL says:

    The first year of a new child is the most amazing one…the changes that take place and happen so quickly…it is incredible.  If taking a year off is what you want to do then by all means do that and be happy.  It is a time you will never be able to get back.  As for the clothes and wal-mart, trust me, they grow so fast that its hard to keep them in clothes for very long.  And-lets not forget about e-bay.  I had clothes for my daughter of all sizes when she was born…I would buy the big bunches of mixed outfits and most of the time they were like brand new, some even were. 
     
    Hope your scores are what you are hoping for!~K

  7. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Hey KM, you are NOT a sell out for making the right decision for you. Your friends may have made the right decision for them (and only time will tell that), but you cannot let their decisions influence yours because your situations are different. Plus, there is nothing wrong with buying your kids clothes at Walmart – it\’s better than stealing them from the Gap, right (smile)? What\’s important is teaching your kids values, teaching them to be humble and thankful for whatever has been given to them.  Do you know how many mothers would love to have the opportunity to take a year off to be with their baby?  This is a priviledge and you are selling out to no one, my dear.
    How do these disgusting mosquitoes get in your house?  They drive me crazy but I just make sure the screens are intact so they stay outside.  We have tons of them in the Caribbean so I usually have to come prepared with lots of repellent when I go down there.
    Take care and have an enjoyable day.  Stay cool.

  8. Nadine says:

    And that is the beautiful part……you can do what you want! You are not a sell-out!!
    I hope the test score turn out well.
     
    Have a great day!
     
     

  9. Jo says:

    Hope the test scores come back the way you hope! That can be very exciting/discouraging at the same time I guess. Can you truly get the "actual" results. This No child left behind thing in PA has me confused with my children, it\’s the overall school grade, I think.
     
    I have mosquito bites on my legs, they look like I have on stockings with polka dots! I have "after bite" at home and in my purse! A nightime feeding, while I\’m sleeping would really tick me off, especially if I could hear them!!!
     
    You have a plan, with your husband, and it\’s YOUR choice, that\’s the most important. I was fortunate enought to be able to stay at home with mine until pre-school. Everyone is different, I believe it\’s a very personal thing. I would have hated if anyone tried to change my mind or tell me what to do. You and the Hubby knows what\’s right for you!
     
    On another note, make sure you visit Antonella, she\’s having some VERY exciting times!!!!!!

  10. Kathryn says:

    Maybe they do dream of it – and just don\’t tell!
     
    So, do you think one day when you are old you will regret this? I don\’t think so. WHen I quit my job to write full time, I was terrified – of losing my independence(money wise) and depending soley on Good Man (who is retired) and what if I wasn\’t successful blah blah blah–well, it was the best thing I\’ve ever done in my life—to own my writing life.
     
    Work will always be there waiting – always…adventures into the unknown, changes – those things are what make life exciting…..and if anyone tries to muck it up for you–smile serenly and tell them you are love loving this.

  11. Sarah says:

    Mosquitos are pretty much my enemy. Usually you can\’t walk outside here without getting bitten up. This year hasn\’t been as bad as normal since it\’s been so dry.
    I think it is a great idea to take a year or so off when you have kids. That is something I would really like to do myself. But who knows what will be happening in my life by the time that happens! My secondary plan is where ever I am my mom has to be within a 10 mile radius so she can be my babysitter. I went to my grandma\’s to be babysat and she is one of my best friends. These days they have cute kid\’s clothes everywhere. My friend has a 2-year-old and she goes to second hand stores and rummage sales and gets him really nice name brand stuff for like a dollar or two. Even cheaper than Wal Mart!

  12. Karla says:

    Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?!??!?! You don\’t think people feel just as guilty for living their kids in daycare? I would rather have guilt to the gender than guilt towards my kids, anyday of the week. You have the career and a husband that allows you to make these choices. You are one lucky woman. My mom gave up her education and a career to have us kids and stay at home with us. I know that she is one of the smartest and most knowledable women I know, even if her resume doesn\’t reflect that. I know I am where I am today because she made the type of sacrifices that it sometimes takes to be a great mom and I appreciate it in ways that words can\’t even begin to describe. I think that\’s why I am partly scared of having kids of my own, there is no way I will ever be able to live up to the example she set. But I will tell you, if I could swing it money-wise and I couldn\’t take time off of my career, for a young child I would rather have a nanny than daycare. But that\’s option 2, not 1. My little cousin had a cuban nanny during the day until she went to pre-k that her family shared with another kid who was born within weeks of her. It was a fabulous arrangement for everyone involved.

  13. Karla says:

    By the way, have you been more conscientious of your pedicure since you started posting pictures of your feet online? Just curious…

  14. Jaysey says:

    It\’s not selling out…it\’s called planning parenthood well.
    Anyway…I just re-read "SO I THREW A SLICE OF LIME AT HIM" and I am laughing hysterically because that is SO something I would do. 😉

  15. Betsy says:

    Usually you won\’t have to buy any clothes for a baby anyway because they get gobs and gobs of clothes.  More than they could every possibly wear.  Let all the auntie\’s and grandma\’s and friends buy the $75 dollar outfit that will be worn once!
     
    Being a teacher is an ideal job for raising kids.  My mom was a school social worker and she always worked but it never really felt like she worked because she was always home when we were, summer, christmas vacation, etc.  I never thought it would be a big deal to be a working mom but now that I\’m working a 9-5 corporate sytle job I\’ve realized the day care person would see my kids more than me!  It\’s a tough choice, for sure!

  16. Becca says:

    Yuck on the mosquitos! I hope that you are able to get a handle on them soon! As for staying home when you have a child, that is nothing at all to feel guilty about. I would cherish that time. You will learn so much more about yourself than  you could ever imagine. Just wait! And shopping at places like WalMart isn\’t necessarily bad. I don\’t get the whole stigma. I even have been know to shop at Target, there really isn\’t that much of a difference!
    Hugs,
    Becca

  17. Alicia says:

    You\’re not a sell out, Katy.  Every mother does what she feels is right concerning her children…this is RIGHT for you.  Don\’t be ashamed of that.
     
    HUGS!!  🙂

  18. Alicia says:

    UM…and how exactly are mosquitos getting in your house???

  19. Della says:

    Darlin\’, when you have a baby, there are going to be HUNDREDS of times that someone disagrees with a decision you make.  Having a baby seems to be the one situation where EVERYONE feels they have a God-given right to interfere with YOUR decisions.  But you have to keep in mind that YOU are that baby\’s mom, and YOU are in charge.  Yes, you will make mistakes, and you will learn from some of them.  We all do.  Trust yourself, and your decisions.  Let no one tell you how to raise your child, unless you ask for their advice!  🙂
     
    Della

  20. Dawn says:

    don\’t feel like a sell out you do what you gotta do.  I took some time off with the first one, but only about 4 months with the second and I regret it now…..and I don\’t even have a career…I have a job. 

  21. K says:

    Why do you consider yourself a sell out?  That boggles my mind….
    In Canada – we get a year\’s maternity leave – in one province – 2 years – but should I have kids (which preferrably within the next two years), I plan on making the most of that time.  I understand it is rather shorter in the US.
    The misquitoes – its a war that seems endless and pointless… but for some unknown reason – the older I get, the less they like me.  My cats chase them around and think they are their toys – Chandler asks for them like I could or would want control that!!!!
    I hope the results from the tests come back showing improvement!  Fingers crossed!
    Ciao bella,
    KC

  22. Unknown says:

    don\’t feel like a sell-out…some people choose to work, others choose to stay-home (for a bit or for the long haul)…i wish we as women would not put so much pressure on each other when it comes to this decision.  and remember, kids won\’t remember where you bought their clothes, but they will remember the love you shared with them…the playing, reading, coloring, and doing other crazy things…also, wal-mart is way overpriced….garage sales are the biggest boon for baby stuff…babies barely wear things and you can buy clothes SO cheap!

  23. Cheryl says:

    I wish I would have been able to do that financially.  I had to work but i did do it for my grandkids.  I did not want to miss out on the joy of caring for little ones full time…

  24. Sue says:

    The first year is the best, especially for your first born!  You won\’t want to miss anything.  You want to be the one who witnesses first smile, cooing, roll over, crawl, word, clapping of hands, first step!!  Holy Cow!  If you are able to be a stay at home, it is HIGHLY recommended.  Most people I know stayed home the first one to five years, then went back to work. 
    When it\’s time for clothes baby, hit those garage sales too!  Go to the good neighborhoods where they buy expensive clothes for their kids and then sell them dirt cheap!  Or mother groups have sales too.  You will get much advice from all of us here… don\’t worry. : )
    Sue

  25. tassietoo says:

    Don\’t EVER apologize for doing what you think is best for you and your family!!  No one has the right to say anything about it unless they are you or the hub!  That is never selling out, it is having a happy family…and always remember (for it\’s very true), "If Momma ain\’t happy, ain\’t NOBODY happy!" 

  26. Unknown says:

    You are not a sell out for deciding to stay home for a year with your child.  I think that\’s a positive thing in sooo many ways!!  Don\’t listen to others who disagree and try to put you down because of it.  They need to get a life.  LOL  Kids are kids for a short time.  And then they\’re adults forever.  Take advantage of your time off to enjoy that!
    God bless : )

  27. Unknown says:

    staying home with your kids is the right thing to do.

  28. siobhan says:

    How is staying home to give your child all of your time and attention making you a sellout?  I don\’t feel like that.  Granted, I was only a bartender, but still.  There are days at home that are harder than any I ever had at work. And I dealt with drunks quite a lot!!  Of course then my son wraps his arms tight around my neck and gives 3 kisses in a row! 🙂 In Europe most countries pay women to stay home a year or so with their child.  In germany and Finland they pay you for a year.  In finland you can opt to stay home for three years with a little less money.  In denmark you get child supprt from the gov\’t until the kid is 18, it\’s not a huge amount of money, maybe a couple hundred a month, but that sure does help!  These countries realize the importance of moms being able to have that choice!
    Granted staying home isn\’t for everyone.  I was afraid that I wouldn\’t like it.  But if it is for you, then run with it and be proud!! 
    Siobhan

  29. CJ says:

    Seems most of us are languishing over what to write these days.  You want hits?  Today I noticed that after making a comment about being "anal" my numbers started rolling.  When I tracked back to the source of origin, I contemplated removing the "anal" and making it rectal or something.  But then again, I was so intrigued by the whole numbers thing I momentarily thought about writing the first word 3 or 4 more times in my blog just to see what could really happen!  Okay, quite plain and simple, I was left unattended for too long.

  30. Wahzat says:

    The staying at home issue is something that has been of issue to me as well. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have just recently done it myself. (I dedicated a post to it. I\’ll probably dedicate a few more entries on it) It is a difficult decision but it is also cool and your children will love you for it. Expect to go a little crazy in the beginning trying to reconcil not working and bringing in the bacon.It is also going to be odd with your friends who will say things like " oh it must be great being able to stay home with your children, I wish I could do that ." And you know that they don\’t mean it.
     
    Loving your writings.

  31. SomedayQuilter says:

    Which is more important, what people think or the well-being of your child?

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