What She Wore: Jeans (a size bigger than usual), white t-shirt, grey slip-on tennis shoes.
Ever notice how we make all these assumptions about people? In the last twenty-four hours I’ve had two really close friends tell me some of the most amazing things: one told me I had a great sex life, the other talked about my certainty at having a baby. She told me, “you two make it look easy.”
And I’m like whaaaaaaa?
These are the types of things we can never know about the people around us: how things are when the lights go out, how happy they are, if they’re confused or have regrets. Why do we make these assumptions about the people around us? Convince ourselves that their lives are somehow different or better than ours. Where do we get this drive?
My husband had a good chuckle over these thoughts and pronounced, “It’s because we live far away.” Perhaps.
Was I absolutely certain about having a baby? Nope. I was trying to have a baby, and I was busy making other career plans at the same time. Now, one of those things will have to be put on hold—and I don’t think the baby is going to wait. I think that when you wait for something to be “perfect” you end up waiting a long time. It was a good time to have a baby, and the details will just have to work themselves out. Are there things left unfinished? Sort of—but they’re not the kinds of things that show up on Christmas cards, or that sing songs with you in the car. I have loved no job like this one. Daily, I feel as if I am making a difference and accomplishing something. I love that people know me, and think that I can do a good job. It is with great regret that I put these things on hold—but they are only on hold.
I think that some people feel that if you make a different decision than they do then you’ve got some amazing insight or security that they don’t. This just isn’t the case. I’m just making a bet. I’m betting that I’ll love being a mother—I’m betting that I’ll love little fingers and toes. I’m betting that I’ll make it through the teenage years without throwing myself off a cliff. I’m betting that in the end, the pros will outweigh the cons.
But it’s just a bet. There are no guarantees in life. Certain? Absolutely not. Ready? Let’s hope—but I am hopeful.