The Arkansas Scholar

What She Wore: denim skirt with a frayed edge (my first piece of maternity wear); long-sleeve, green tee; black suede boots.  The boots aren’t the cutest things since sliced bread, but I got them for about twenty dollars last year, and they’re really comfortable.

Wow, my last blog wasn’t very well-recieved.  I got no less than thirty comments when I blogged about my mother, and less than fifteen when I talked about the uncertaintly of life.  Perhaps a little too deep for the average reader?   Well, have no fear–today is just plain silly. 
 
A while back, the Hub and I ventured out to our favorite pizza joint.  After sitting there for a few minutes, I decided I was cold, and went back to the car to get a jacket.  On my way to the car I saw two people sitting inside a truck smoking something.  Now, I have NEVER been a drug user, but I did go to college, and certains smells are just distinctive.  That distinctive smell was floating my way as I passed the truck. 
 
A few minutes later the couple entered the bar.  The woman was wearing an oversized t-shirt emblazoned with a giant logo of some kind.  As the woman embibed beer and spoke with another patron, I quickly dubbed her "The Arkansas Scholar."  Here are a few tidbits from my eavesdropping:
 
  • She argued passionately about whether real rednecks are from Tennessee or from Arkansas.  This was a matter of pride, not contention.
  • She kept asking another patron why, if he had five TV’s in his house, could he not get the Arkansas game on one of them (Hint: the game wasn’t being broadcast).
  • She told the other patron how much she like the head on her beer.  Repeatedly.  Loudly.  Wink, wink.
  • And finally, after a discussion about football stadiums verses racing stadiums, the other patron asked how many people the stadium in Talledega would hold.  She paused for a moment and then pronounced, "I don’t know–but when I get home, I’ll check my NASCAR book."

An Arkansas Scholar, indeed.

KM

PS: Please realize that this is all in good fun–I’ve known people in every state of the union who act like this.  Unfortunately, this woman said so many blog-worthy things in one night, that this story ended up here.  Please regard this with a sense of humor.

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About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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21 Responses to The Arkansas Scholar

  1. CJ says:

    Since I\’ve been gone, I had to read not one, but two, entries to catch up.  First, your readers didn\’t drop off because of your written material, I think it\’s more a matter of the holiday season.  You are still just as loved as you\’ve always been!  As for this last entry, I did have to laugh.  People like this are far more common that one would like to imagine.  And they are fine fodder for blogging material!  I agree with your previous entry, you will likely love the little fingers and toes, the smell of a fresh bathed baby, combing those silky locks around your fingers (when they\’re finally long enough to do so!), the adorable clothes, the enchanting toys.  Some things are worth putting on hold, and later, upon reflection, will likely turn out not to be anywhere near as important as the wonderful life you helped to create!  Enjoy your week!

  2. Leighann says:

    I\’ve actually been reading your old posts.  I think I\’m up to April.  I just finished reading that they decided to use the Iowa\’s instead of the state test. 
    So, I just wanted to add my two cents about maternity clothes.  I am not a clothes horse and have trouble putting outfits together, especially now!  I actually had better clothes when I was pregnant.  I really liked the Old Navy denim maternity skirt.  I would have to say that was my favorite.  Sam just turned 2, so I\’m not sure if they still have them.  Well, off to bed.  

  3. Cindy says:

    Wish I would have been there to hear it all!! Too funny!
     
    I wasn\’t visiting blogland yesterday, so I just read your previous post tonight. Here are my thoughts on assumptions:
     
    I agree wholeheartedly that people have a tendency to believe that other peoples\’ lives are so much \’better\’ or \’more interesting\’ than their own. For example, I was slightly taken aback by how many people were surprised by my separation. Gee, my husband took a job in Africa almost 4 years ago that I didn\’t agree to, was gone for 8 months out of the year and we hardly did anything together when he was home. Surprise! I even had one person say to me, \’Are you sure you want to do this? The grass isn\’t always greener, you know.\’
    Moral of the story? Just because something seems okay from the outside looking in, don\’t assume that it is.
     
    And yes, life is a gamble……if you don\’t play, how can you win??
     

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Love the boots!That scene would have been very entertaining… much better than spending 20 bucks on a movie! 😉

  5. WINDOW LIVE says:

    Hey I loved your blogs.  Always do!  When I was reading this post I thought you were here visiting Kentycky HeHe!  Are you guys on Christmas break yet?  How is the Christmas shopping coming?  Have a great day!

  6. Sarah says:

    I love people-watching and listening to other people\’s conversations (when they are speaking too loudly, of course). Especially in bars or other places like that where you know things are just going to be crazy and people are going to come up with some off-base stuff!

  7. Tracy says:

    Haha that is funny.  Interesting that she was debating Arkansas vs Tennessee — you see I don\’t think redneck when I think Arkansas, but then again I\’ve never been there!!  Sometimes eavesdropping can be so entertaining!

  8. Unknown says:

    I lived in WV for a few years and I could have sworn WV held the title of \’real\’ rednecks. 🙂

  9. KEL says:

    There is definately a scholar for every state! \’wink wink\’  As for the post about your mother…I am a firm beliver that a mothers job description includes "driving her children crazy."  I have a hard time finding any mother who does not at some point do so.  I would have to agree with you however that I think she was wrong with her demands regarding the name – but teaching the baby to call her your choice of name might be just the solution.~K

  10. Tiffany says:

    That\’s hilarious!  Being from Arkansas my entire (well almost) life I have heard many people talk like this.  Did you see the lady on Jay Leno the other night that was from South Arkansas and gave that Chicken CPR to save it\’s life?  Yeah, my Mother in law was filling me in on it and all I could do was laugh. 
     
    Hope you are having a wonderful week so far!
    Tiffany

  11. Jaysey says:

    LOL!  That\’s a good one…perhaps she ought to run for something…Ms. Arkansas…or you, KM, could even start your own contest: Ms. Arkansas Scholar.  The winner receives free Nascar and football tickets and a Budweiser T-shirt wrapped around a suitcase of beer.  Seriously, we have plenty of those rednecks \’round here…grew up with \’em…love\’em…they\’ll have you laughing hysterically…unless they\’re mad at you…better run! 😉

  12. Toni says:

    It would be funny if , somewhere, the "Arkansas Scholar" is sitting at her computer, reading this blog and thinking…"Could she be talking about me?"
    Man. Someone\’s got to provide entertainment.
    I did actually read the last blog about the uncertainties of life–it was a good read, but I didn\’t comment, I guess because somethings I just sit back and ponder, nothing needs to be said, except that I agree with basically all of it…funny what people get in their heads about others…

  13. Sheryl-Ann says:

    That was very funny, especially the one about whether real rednecks are from Arkansas or Tennessee…….some might actually argue that it\’s Texas (hahahaha).  Drugs and alcohol – a helluva mixture:)!

  14. Lizzie-Beth4Him says:

    KM,
     
    I think your hope is well placed and gave me a big smile!  Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, that is filled with every joy and blessing!  Even thought I thought the things she said did sound funny, all I could see was a mind vacant of self respect, and it made me feel pity for the girl you mentioned.
     
    Hugs,
    Beth

  15. 林夕建筑 says:

    因为你是老师,希望你能够看得懂我的文字。
    今天 不知道怎么进了这里,但是看到了 不怎么懂的文字却让我很想学。
    希望在以后能够得到你的知道。我是一名新的建筑设计师
     

  16. Aimee says:

    wow…as much as i shouldn\’t laugh cause i am sure that it would be rude…i can\’t stop laughing…especially the last one….i wouldn\’t watch NASCAR for the longest time cause it was boring, they only went left and it was a "redneck" thing…now i look forward to the start of next years season…it\’s not that bad…guess you can\’t knock it until you try it….but still i don\’t have a NASCAR book…my dad does and my mother-in-law does…
     
    as for baby names…as i haven\’t been wround for a while sorry…i went back and read all though…see comments..i went through the same thing not too long ago when my grandparents called me up to tell me that my cousin and his wife had had their baby…it was a girl…and they named her Charley….my granparents lost it…that was a mans name and how stupid could they be…i told my grandparents that it was ok…no big deal…i had heard worse…besides…i thought it was nice…and you know what i got told…."what would i know about baby names" cause i am the only grandchild with no kids…i\’m like whatever…wait until they hear the names i like…
    Boy: Hayden, Xander, Race, Dakota
    Girl: Alexis, Aprillia, Eleanor, Kennedy
    they might  keel over when they hear these…
    :o) smiles are contagious…pass one to people that you love and those you don\’t… :o)

  17. Unknown says:

    Just out blog walking and stumbled across your blog.  Cute entry today and I must say that being from Illinois I have run into a few of those people here too!  I read your previous blog and I must say that I don\’t think I could have added any comments to it.  It was written beautifully!!

  18. Unknown says:

    It takes all kinds, doesn\’t it? LOLGod bless 🙂

  19. Nadine says:

     Now cordin\’ to my Redneck Lo-cal Book….Most RedNecks preside on the Eastern side of the Miss\’sip……tho\’ there are sum on this side!
     
     Hey you have a chinese comment too!!! Have any clue to what it says???
     
     Love the boots!!!

  20. Gina says:

    lol, I gues beer and certain distinctive-smelling drugs would do that to a person.

  21. Sandy says:

    It is people like her that gives us rednecks a bad rep.  LOL I claim to be a redneck sometimes, but I have never said anything like that.  I guess I might be a smart redneck due to the wee bit of yankee in me from my mothers side.  Hehe.
     
    Raven

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