I hate to be this way. I really do. But somehow, this blog has gone too far. Strangers log-on and tell me what they think of me–judge my WORTH and, somehow, they get to me. I am sorry, but I am completely unsure whether this blog can continue. I’ve been insulted too many times today, and for what? For making my private thoughts public. The point of a blog.
But people don’t come here for a person–they come here for an image. And when that image insn’t provided–you will be reprimanded. I may be a woman who works with a disadvantaged population. I may be a woman works with kids who are disabled. I may go to church. These things DO NOT make me Mother Theresa (obviously). Everything I say is not peaches, ice cream, and puppy dogs. I have NEVER held myself up as a role model or someone without fault. The idea is preposterous.
My point was always to be real. Me. Not an image of Matthew Perry, or Michelle Phiffer, or Hillary Swank that people have in their minds. I am an actual living breathing human being doing the best I can with what God gave me. But real human beings have ugly sides too, and I have never made any attempt to hide it. If you want fiction—buy a book.
Do I have an overweening ego?–I doubt someone as insecure as myself could have an overweening ego.
Am I thin-skinned?–absolutely–especially when you throw in pregnancy hormones, and an unbalanced chemical state.
For these reasons, I am unsure if I should go on with the blog at this point. Or perhaps its time to go private? I have no idea. I relish the interation with others, but I refuse to spend another day crying over the words of someone who doesn’t know me.
Ok, talked to the Hub. Blogs on hold til the New Year. I’m going to give myself a little time to calm down and see how I feel. Have a Merry Christmas and hopefully I’ll see you guys in ’07.