Duped

What She Wore: jean capris; navy blue tank top with white swirls; white hoodie; navy, red, and white strappy slides.  Sorry, no shoe pics–I’m without my camera at the moment.

I realize that this trip home was a trick.  There was the promise of presents and going out to eat, but now that I’m here, I see what this whole thing was really about:
 
My mother is conspiring to DRIVE ME CRAZY.  Crazy, ya hear?
 
My mother has an amazing hold over me.  I am almost thirty years old and I was literally crying before we left to come down here.  Why?  Because I am worried that she will not like my clothes.  Granted, I’m pregnant, and that creates a ridiciulous influx in hormones, but if I wasn’t pregnant, there’s still a 50/50 chance that she could reduce me to complete tears with just one comment. 
 
But my wardrobe is not her current obsession–her current obsession is moving me back here.  PRONTO.  I have told her REPEATEDLY that my main focus at this time is giving birth to a baby, and then figuring out how to diaper and feed it.  Her main focus is giving me job advice.  I’m not the one looking for a job, but still, she’s giving me her opinion on the whole job search.  She also likes to give me the opinons of her friends.  Now, I love my mother, and I like her friends, but I have more work history than the three of them combined.  
 
So, at what point does your mother realize that your life is NOT a popular opinon poll, but, in fact YOUR life?  The decisions that my husband and I make are our own.  
 
Argggg,  I’ve been duped, I tell ya!
 
KM 
 
 
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About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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13 Responses to Duped

  1. Sarah says:

    I think that if you have a mother like that she won\’t ever change her ways. Sorry! Just my opinion here. My mom and I are more like best friends (due to all the bonding we\’ve been forced to do over the years) so she doesn\’t try to oversee my life in that way. I know when she doesn\’t approve of something, but it\’s never been like "those moms". I guess I don\’t really have anything positive to say on this! Wow!
     
    Anyway, you can look forward to NOT being one of "those moms". You know what drives you crazy, so you wouldn\’t do that to your child, right? 🙂

  2. barnyardmama says:

    Let\’s hope.

  3. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Hey KM!  There are all kinds of moms in this world, right?  I guess you just have to learn to manage your mom because it is highly unlikely that she will change at this point.  I would just say "okay" or "that\’s a good idea" to every she suggests and then do whatever I wanted with the Hub.  I know – I\’m mean (hahahaha).  However, it doesn\’t make sense to argue with her because I can tell she would thrive on that and getting her view across.  Therefore, you could kill it early by agreeing with everything she says and then do whatever you want anyway………is that rude:)?

  4. Becca says:

    Your mom is in for one heck of an adjustment after the baby comes isn\’t she? You are going to have to sit her down and tell her that you appreciate her efforts but you are going to do what is right for you and if that involves work, great, if not, that is great too! You should send her my blog entry from yesterday!Hugs!

  5. Aimee says:

    lol…it\’s amazing how our mothers affect our lives…i am sure you mother loves you no matter what you wear…

    :o) smiles are free and contagious…so pass one right now to the people you love and those you don\’t…soon everyone will be smiling… :o)

  6. Jaysey says:

    So much for relaxation.  Try not to let her get to you too much (yeah, I know, right.).

  7. Hollie says:

    Moms are wonderful well intentioned but they think they know ALL, I have one who sounds so similair and yep she can have me in tears in less then 0 seconds, hopefully you will have the chance to be pampered some this break!

  8. Unknown says:

    Hey there, just stopping by to tell  you I moved my blog!Click hereGod bless 🙂

  9. Tracy says:

    If your mom isn\’t letting you make your own decisions by now, well, I\’m afraid she never will. LOL!  Hopefully when the baby comes she won\’t try to insist you do everything her way — that\’s how it is in my family – if my brothers and sisters don\’t raise their kids exactly how my mom thinks they should, well they are just doing it wrong!!  Haha whatever! 
     
    I hope you\’re still able to enjoy the time at home and she chills out a little bit!!

  10. Unknown says:

    I agree with Sherry\’s comment.  After years of being frustrated and sad about my Mother I have finally learned that she will never change and I have to accept the way she is and do exactly that "manage" her.

  11. Antonella says:

    Sorry about you mom, I think it\’ll only get worse, so prepare yourself. When your little boy comes, the unwanted advice will just keep on coming. It\’s best you decide how you will deal with it now, or else you\’ll be so stressed out. You might want to just tell her thanks but no thanks, and then if she keeps on giving you advice, just nod and smile and completely ignore her! And another warning, the pregnancy hormones don\’t go away for a while after you have the baby!! Be prepared to cry a lot!!! Commercials with babies, people in love, pretty much anything and everything! Sometimes, you just stare at your baby and cry. OK, I\’ve gone off on a tangent now. Notice how I talk all the time about unwanted advice, and here I am giving you advice!! You can tell me to shut up if you want!!
    have a great weekend,
    Antonella

  12. Unknown says:

    Mother-daughter relationships are tricky.  My mother used to reduce me to tears all the time, for so many reasons.  I couldn\’t even possibly list them all here.  We haven\’t spoken now for over 2 years.  That\’s not as sad as it sounds.  My life has been very peaceful, though I do miss the good times with her every now and then.  But, it\’s not worth having a toxic relationship.  At least not for right now.And I\’m not saying here that you should stop speaking to your mother.  Just saying that I feel for ya.  Have a good weekend!  Feel better soon!God bless 🙂

  13. Unknown says:

    AHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU\’re going home!!!! Congrats babe!! Cudos to hubby for starting the ball rolling. NOW after mom\’s crap are you still wanting to go home? Giggle giggle snort snort. You could always try the old faithful: Mom I\’m 53 years old! I can do it myself! Hehehe, and say it just like that. You are gordatious, you\’re preggo, and you should also tell her…"Mom be happy we\’re coming down, don\’t make me all emotionally drained for once, just be happy." If that doesn\’t work just keep on asking her to go to the store for things like pickles and ice cream. LOL!
     
    On the how close is to close husband thingy. When HIM came home over the weekend he told me that he\’d been hit on a few times @ school. It is odd to me how these "professional" lawyer ladies, who you would think were ethical, would hit on a married man that wears a wedding ring? He told me, that in not wanting to embarress them, he would drop a line like…"Boy I sure do miss my wife." I just think of crap like…well they\’re far from home and in this school lonely. Then I\’m like you…SCREW that!!! LOL
     
    hugs and best wishes!!
     
    Mercy

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