Doing Battle

What She Wore: white, short-sleeve polo with a little ruffle around the cuffs and collar; jean capris; leopard print slides with a wooden sole and a narrow pink buckle.  I’d really like to put up a picture of these shoes because they are SO cute, but I had to order a new cable to plug my camera into the computer, and it hasn’t arrived yet. 


As I’ve mentioned before, I gave up my anti-depressants when I found out I was pregnant.  I suffer from low-grade depression, otherwise known as dysthymia.   Since it’s low-grade, I figured I could just suffer through rather than play lab rat with my own child (I’m not condemming those who take medication all through pregnancy–it’s a tough decision, but one each person has to make for themselves).   All and all I’ve done pretty well, but these last few weeks I’ve felt myself slipping back into those old, funky moods.  You kind of see it coming, but you just think, "I’ll snap out of it."  Before I knew it, I’d worked myself into a full-blown funk complete with crying for no reason, moody lashing out, and a general disintrest in doing anything.   
 
Well, once you know you have a problem, you have to do something about it–or suffer needlessly like an idiot.  I’m still trying to forgo medication, so I’m taking all the other routes at my disposal.  First and foremost, when a person is depressed, they need to get out of the house.  Ironic since depression makes you listless and gives you a negative self image–party time, right?  So, I’ve been busy battling the funk–I made myself leave the house every day this weekend, and today the Hub and I tackled a major project I’ve been putting off.  Last night we went and took a walk too which is a double whammy–free therapy since there’s nothing else to do, and your body makes all those good endorphin thingies. 
 
I’m not completely back to normal, but I’m feeling better–one step at a time and all that. 
 
 
Just imagine me like one of those old-fashioned knights battling a dragon: it might get in a few good swipes, but I’ll be damned if I let this thing win!
 
 
Hope your Sunday is lovely.
 
KM
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About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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16 Responses to Doing Battle

  1. Leah says:

    When we were dating, he was stationed in Japan for 16 months and I only saw him once. The day after he got back, we got married. That 16-month period was brutal. I think I can relate to depression, although I\’m not depressed. I have my own little tricks to get through deployments, which are my hard times: retail therapy, of course. I cook. I organize. I obsessively budget. I work out. I study something. I find it all helps the mental state. I feel the same way: I\’ll be damned if I let the bad stuff win.

  2. Becca says:

    I can understand the depression, and I am glad that you are taking care of you in the best ways that you can. Many kudos for being kind to yourself, you are a wonderful person and you know that this period will pass quickly.
    Hugs,
    Becca

  3. Unknown says:

    I\’ve battled depression/anxiety before.  It\’s not easy and definitely not fun.  I\’m glad you\’re feeling a little better!  Don\’t be too hard on yourself.God bless 🙂

  4. Joell says:

    Good for you for seeing yourself headed for what I call "the vortex"(and by the way, FUNK is the same word I use!!).  You should be proud for making yourself do the very thing you don\’t want to do.  That is the first step…as I always say, baby steps, right??  And ALWAYS wear the cute shoes…because even when they hurt your feet for a little while, they make you feel like a princess on the inside!!  But then, I think you already know that! 🙂 Hang in there!!

  5. Aimee says:

    glad to hear taht you are fighting back for all you have….you can do it…and when you think you can\’t we are here…
    :o) smiles are free and contagious…so pass one right now to the people you love and those you don\’t…soon everyone will be smiling… :o)

  6. Sarah says:

    Sounds like you\’re bringing yourself back. It\’s good that you\’ve figured out ways to make yourself feel better without the meds. You\’ve made it this long, you should be able to make it through the rest! 🙂

  7. Gina says:

    It is a tough battle but you are taking great steps to beat the depression.  You have great ideas to aide in the battle, Especially the walks! 

  8. Jaysey says:

    Good luck–that\’s a tough situation your facing–the dragon\’s got that whole breathing fir thing–pick out good armor! 😉  As for the previous entry, can I just say, "Phew" ?  Thanks… 😉

  9. g says:

    Yeah, I was never depressed until AFTER I had kids!  Weird, huh?  I swear it was the anesthesia that they gave me to put me to sleep during both c-sections that did it!!  I have tried getting off of them…but within days; hours even, I can feel that I NEED them.  It is like a diabetic…I have to have my meds in order to function.  I am so glad that you are doing good without them and will pray that you do not need them during pregnancy.  Chin up.  Think positive.  And if you need to talk…I am here.
     
    g.j.

  10. Jaysey says:

    I think that\’s exactly what they\’re doing, which is why I hate this crap.  If they weren\’t, it would\’ve been listed "as is" from the get-go–just like several other properties I\’ve looked at.  I hate games.  I\’m no good at things like poker or hardball–I just want to get to the end. <sigh>

  11. Tracy says:

    Glad to hear you are feeling better — good for you for feeling it coming on and wanting to do something to make it better.
     
    OH and ya Sara Evans is one of my favorites too – she put on a great show!

  12. Antonella says:

    Thank God the hub didn\’t have to go to Kuwait!!
     
    Sorry your feeling down. I\’m sure pregnancy hormones don\’t help, I was cryng for no reason and I don\’t suffer from any kind of depression. I\’m sure I\’ve read somewhere that there are some anti-depressants that are ok to use while pregnant, but I can totally understand wanting to be cautious. I didn\’t even wanna take Tylenol when I was preg! Well, I hope that you feel better and that the weather is nice enough over there for you to get out more.
    (((HUGS)))
    Antonella

  13. WINDOW LIVE says:

    I have suffered from depression my entire life.  I went off anti-depressants about 5 years ago and started working out.  So far so good.  Of course you can\’t really do that right now.  According to my doctor it is the best medicine for me. 

  14. Carol says:

    You\’re right on track Katy.  I went off Lexapro about eight months ago just because I didn\’t like being on meds.  You\’re right, you have to force yourself to get out, exercize, do something productive even when every cell in your body is crying, "Couch potato!"  And not just a little exercize.  You have to do enough to get those amazing endorphins to kick in.  Endorphins…wonderful stuff.  

  15. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Hi KM, hope you are feeling much better now.  You don\’t have too long to go so hang in there – positive vibes from me to you!

  16. Hilary says:

    I\’ve been thinking about having kids off and on recently.  I take medication for being bipolar, and deciding if I can go off of it to get pregnant is a scary decision.  I like reading about your experience and how honest you\’re being.  I\’m glad that you\’re still doing pretty good….

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