Pressing On

The Hub and I talked extensively about why I continue to update in the midst of all this madness.  I have only one answer: because I must.  The collective prayers will help my Charlie.  Also, I hope that if anyone else in the Universe goes through this than perhaps they will feel a little comfort in knowing that they are not alone.
 
My boy went off blood pressure medicine and then promptly started to have too much blood pressure!  Keeps me swinging and today I finally had to break down and take a Valium (no worries, completely Dr. approved) which I’m trying wean myself off of.  The nurses do not seem concerned, and in the back of my mind I have started to plan for the next day which isn’t something I dared do before.  I still leave the hospital in terror that something will happen while I am away. 
 
A feeding tube is planned for today or tomorrow as is another CAT scan.  I am going to do my best to ignore that CAT scan since I believe strongly in the regenerative power of the brain (and, of course, in miracles).
 
I will now take a second to count my blessings:
  1. That I have had so many days with my boy.
  2. The amazing out-pouring of prayer/love/food/well-wishes that has appeared from every inch of the universe.
  3. That the military, which made me so mad last week, is enabling us to worry about our son, and not his bills.
  4. That I am a school teacher with a summer off to devote to my boy.
  5. That the Hub and I pinched pennies for five years so I could be a stay-at-home mom.  Now, it seems, I have no other option.
  6. That we were stationed in Arkansas–one of only five places in the country that has a cardiac unit for newborns.

Continue to pray for my boy–your prayers sustain him.

KM

PS: Forgot–like any new mother, I think my baby is beautiful, tubes and all.  I’m adding a picture.

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About takedeux

In one summer I had a baby who was hospitalized for five weeks, quit my job, and moved back to my hometown. This blog is about starting over.
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40 Responses to Pressing On

  1. Christi says:

    Katy –
     
    The NICU is such a roller coaster.  But with each new day\’s challenges, you get a new day ~ does that make sense?  I think it is a good sign that the nurses don\’t seem concerned.  I am also glad you took a Valium.  If I were you, I would be taking 6!  Just kidding.  Thank you for continuing to post – I am like an addict, waiting for each good new detail about little Charlie!  You are an amazing and strong woman that you still have the wherewithal to count your blessings.  Hang in there, my thoughts and prayers are with you throughout the day!

  2. Bethm411 says:

    my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

  3. Nora says:

    Selfishly I am glad you are able to update.  I hope it is helping you a tiny bit, we will keep praying for a miracle.

  4. Unknown says:

    He is beautiful.  You\’re list of things to be thankful for took my breath away.  I wish you many more prayers and things to be thankful for in the days to come. 

  5. Joell says:

    Katy-
    Your Charlie IS beautiful!! 🙂 
    Thank you for keeping us posted.  I continue to pray for you, Hub and Charlie.  And I continue to believe in miracles too! 
    You are stronger than you think you are.  Hang on.  You will get through this. 
    Thinking of you and praying for you.
    Joell
     

  6. g says:

    What a beautiful boy your Charlie is!  Your list of "things to be thankful for" is truly a list of blessings.  You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
     
    g.j.
    xoxoxox

  7. Elizabeth says:

    "I will now take a second to count my blessings:That we were stationed in Arkansas–one of only five places in the country that has a cardiac unit for newborns."That\’s amazing.  I hope they are working their butt off for Charlie, who, by the way, is simply gorgeous.  Take away all the wires and monitors and he\’s a peacefully sleeping baby.  *hugs*

  8. Sue says:

    He is absolutely ADORABLE!  Blondie looked similar to that when she was born.  Her lungs were not developed and they had to hand bag her in an ambulance because we were 2 1/2 hours from the nearest NICU at the time.  That girl had tube and needles coming from everywhere.  Look at her now!  My goddaughter is another absolute miracle when she was born.  It\’s a long story, but suffice it to say even the doctors at the Children\’s Hospital have admitted she is a miracle and they still do not understand how she is alive today.  She\’s 11 years old now and doing wonderful.  On the subject of Valium… use it girlie.  It will help keep you calmer and steadier for Charlie.  It will be temporary.  Our prayers are with Charlie and you two.  You are so blessed.  Try to keep in mind that God knows what He\’s doing even though we may not.  Love to you Katy…Sue : )

  9. Anna says:

    He is gorgeous!! This is heartbreaking…Hang in there, you have all the support from all around the world, I\’m sure things will get better soon!!! 🙂
    xxxx
    Anna.

  10. Christine says:

    Continued prayers for you and yours, Katy.  He is adorable.  When things calm down a bit, you\’ll have to update us on the WHOLE story….being a nurse makes me curious…sorry…
     
    Love to you!
     
    Christine

  11. Cheryl says:

    Hi Katy,
    It has been a while since I checked in on you!  I am so sorry to hear that precious little Charlie is having
    problems and we will pray for you and the baby.  You hang in there,  things are tough, I know,
    but where a door closes, God opens a window, and things will be better.  I will be thinking of you!
     

  12. Becca says:

    You and Charlie and your husband continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. What a beautiful boy. Keep fighting!
    God bless!
    Becca

  13. Unknown says:

    I am so sorry to hear that Charlie isn\’t well, and I love that you took that moment to list the things you are thankful for, you are a very brave and wonderful mother. He is so cute and he looks strong to me. You, your husband and your new son Charlie are in my prayers and thoughts. Be strong and take care, many hugs… -S- 

  14. K says:

    Today… I will pray for Charlie… and I am not a praying person.  But I believe in the collection consciousness that comes from such unity and faith and the power of healing that comes from it.  My dear Katie… my heart is with you, your husband and baby Charlie (he is beautiful.. tubes et all) and I too… like you have the utmost faith in the regenerative power of the body and brain – especially when seen in infants and newborns.
     
    Continue to have faith that there is a higher power at work here… and baby Charlie will come home and be a wonderful little boy to you and your husband.  I have faith that he will.
     
    Tonight.. I pray for you three and anyone else who is going thru the same.  I am a firm believer in miracles… and a miracle we will see.
     
    (((hugs)))
    KC

  15. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!

  16. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!

  17. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!

  18. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!

  19. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!

  20. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!

  21. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!
     
    crap!

  22. Nadine says:

    He is beautiful!!! And I think it is a good thing to let us know…to lean on us bloggers. We aren\’t there only in spirit but we are there. You and the Hub haven\’t been far from my thoughts. One day we will talk.
     
    One step at a time….hang in there!
     
    crap!

  23. Saksinee says:

    This is for Charlie.
     

    ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶                                                          ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶´¶¶´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶                                   ´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´¶´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´¶´¶´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´¶´¶´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶¶´´¶´´´´¶´´¶´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´¶´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´¶´´¶¶´´´´´´´¶´´´´´¶´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´¶¶                      ´´´¶¶´´´´´´¶´´´´¶´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶                          ´´´´¶´´´´´´¶´´´¶´´´´´¶´´´´´´´¶                             ´´´´¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶¶                             ´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶´´¶´´´´´¶¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´¶¶¶´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´¶¶´¶´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶¶´´´´´¶´´´¶´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶´¶´´´´´´´¶´´¶´´´¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶´¶´´´´´´¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´¶¶´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶´¶¶´´´´´¶¶´´¶´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´¶´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´¶´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶  
     
     

  24. Katie says:

    Hi Katy – I just surfed over from Jen\’s site, and even though they\’re all the way from Australia (so they might be a little quieter), you\’ve got some prayers from me too.

  25. Le Chat Noir says:

    Hi Katy,
     
    Just dropped over via Tiffany\’s site. I am wishing you and hub all the best with your Charlie. Modern science is so remarkable so I am hoping that you will receive the miracle that you want ….please take care and accept my best wishes…
     
    Hugs Katy…I figure at a time like this, virtual hugs will mean almost but never quite as much as physical hugs, but if the virtual world can also help you through this time, I am happy to lend my support.
     
    Kerrie

  26. KENT says:

    Other then letting you know that we continue with our prayers in your behalf,  It\’s hard to know what to say.  I loved the picture of Charlie.  I wept when you first let us know of this challange.  I truely believe in devine intervention, and with God\’s hellp, things will work out according to his plan.  Hang in there. 🙂  Kent

  27. Tracy says:

    Awwwwwww, he\’s adorable!!!  I am SO glad to hear he continues to improve.

  28. Antonella says:

    Charlie is perfect!!! I\’m thinking and pray for you guys all the time. And thanks so much for taking the time to update us.
    Give a kiss to Charlie,
    Antonella
    PS- if you are checking your email, I\’m seding you something.

  29. Dawn says:

    as the others have said..he\’s gorgeous…I think of Charlie, you and the hubs everyday.  Stay strong.

  30. KEL says:

    Katy, he is adorable regardless of tubes and all.  You are a very blessed woman and despite these circumstances I believe miracles can and do happen.  Every thing in our lives has a purpose, perhaps everything in the past was only to prepare you for the things yet to come, the life with your family, son and all.  May god continue to keep a loving hand around your family and I will continue to keep you all in my heart and prayers.~K

  31. Gina says:

    omygosh Katy, HE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!  Charlie brings tears to my eyes! I still continue to think of you and send lots of prayers, you guys are never to far from my mind.  Your updates me so much to me.  Peace and Love, Gina and Manny

  32. K says:

    He is such a beautiful baby! I will be praying for your family during this hard time. I hope he gets better soon,
     
    Kara

  33. Jaysey says:

    There is so much we don\’t know about the brain.  It was created by someone/thing far smarter than we.  Thus, it is capable of so much more than we can ever imagine.  It is, as you say, regenerative…as is the human spirit. Best to you & Hub & Charlie.

  34. Tiffany says:

    Katy, he is BEAUTIFUL and I\’m glad that things are still going well!  Just continue to hold that baby boy close to you!  The tubes are just temporary… I could always look past them when it came to Baylee.  The first day I was scared to kiss her because I didn\’t know if I was allowed to do that in the NICU! 🙂  Kiss him and squeeze him tight!
    Big Hugs and Big Prayers coming from NW AR to you!
     
    Tiffany

  35. Sarah says:

    He\’s adorable! Just so you know, I had tears in my eyes when I read that entry. I\’m keeping the faith for you! Thanks for showing us a picture!!

  36. Christi says:

    He is beautiful.  And he looks very strong.  Keep us posted.  I am thinking of you all very often throughout each day. 

  37. Johanna says:

    Katy-
    He is so beautiful he brings tears to my eyes. My prayers and thoughts are with you, hub and charlie – today and everyday. Nothing wrong with accepting a little"help" so that you can keep focus to fight for your boy. Johanna

  38. Sheryl-Ann says:

    Keep believing, Katy!  He is a handsome little boy (tubes and all), and I will continue to pray that he pulls through – I will never stop believing in miracles!  Thanks so much for updating us on Charlie\’s progress.  Lots of hugs and positive vibes.

  39. erika says:

    Your baby is beautiful, I will keep him in my prayers. Please dont lose hope because the power of prayer is very strong.

  40. Lin says:

     He is not my son but I think he is sooo beautiful too.So SWEET.You are not alone.I have been there as well.But our son "Bobby" was never given any chance & only lived for  3 days.Then I have went through this with my sister & her son Richie.He lived for exactly 3 months.But I have many friends I have made over the years whose baby has made it.I will send up prauers to God for your little Charlie & for his family as well. One Day at a Time   just as Christy Lane put it….
     
     

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