The Hub and I talked extensively about why I continue to update in the midst of all this madness. I have only one answer: because I must. The collective prayers will help my Charlie. Also, I hope that if anyone else in the Universe goes through this than perhaps they will feel a little comfort in knowing that they are not alone.
My boy went off blood pressure medicine and then promptly started to have too much blood pressure! Keeps me swinging and today I finally had to break down and take a Valium (no worries, completely Dr. approved) which I’m trying wean myself off of. The nurses do not seem concerned, and in the back of my mind I have started to plan for the next day which isn’t something I dared do before. I still leave the hospital in terror that something will happen while I am away.
A feeding tube is planned for today or tomorrow as is another CAT scan. I am going to do my best to ignore that CAT scan since I believe strongly in the regenerative power of the brain (and, of course, in miracles).
I will now take a second to count my blessings:
- That I have had so many days with my boy.
- The amazing out-pouring of prayer/love/food/well-wishes that has appeared from every inch of the universe.
- That the military, which made me so mad last week, is enabling us to worry about our son, and not his bills.
- That I am a school teacher with a summer off to devote to my boy.
- That the Hub and I pinched pennies for five years so I could be a stay-at-home mom. Now, it seems, I have no other option.
- That we were stationed in Arkansas–one of only five places in the country that has a cardiac unit for newborns.
Continue to pray for my boy–your prayers sustain him.
PS: Forgot–like any new mother, I think my baby is beautiful, tubes and all. I’m adding a picture.